Adyashanti, in contrast, feels to me like he could care less about making a lot of money. And, interestingly, I think he does make a lot of money. Each retreat has around 350 participants, and the fee is $300. That’s over $100,000 GROSS per retreat to his organization. So, there is a fair amount of money coming in.

The key is whether the message given is a mixed message. Is the surface what you intuitively sense lies underneath? In Adya’s case, I have no doubt that the outward appearance of him is in 100% alignment with the inward state. He is clean.

Davidya’s last blog post..Eckhart on Oprah continues

Thanks for sharing this. Very interesting and inspiring.

Cheers,
Anmol

Anmol Mehta | Mastery of Meditation’s last blog post..Ultimate Health & Wellness Yoga Meditation Program (Course #105)

So, next week I will be in silent retreat with Adya. Can’t wait. It should be a great experience. It will be my second retreat with him. Be well.

It seems like a lot of people have to face some major crisis or fear before they let it ALL go forever. I have not yet… I’m still going through the process.

So it sounds like you have really REALLY recognized the empty nature of things. Not just a vague knowing somewhere back there, but really recognized it. As Davidya said, there are at least 2 parts to enlightenment, and the first is realizing there is no self. In my way of thinking, this first step is realizing the logic of “I am, therefore I think.” It’s a a rearrangement of Descartes, “I think therefore I am”. My statment means that you recognize that “I am” is the consciousness that is aware of thinking, a different kind of consciousness. If you realizing this, then you no longer believe that you are your thoughts, your emotions, feelings your experiences… but you are the awareness that is aware of thought and the awareness that experiences everything else. I believe you had this step acheived for some time.

But recently it sounds like you got the second step, the “bang” experience. The authentic recognition of emptiness as true nature…. as more than just a detached empty feeling… but as an alive vast emptiness so vivid that you can almost literally see it. That is exactly what I experienced when I talked of recognizing the unborn while looking at a tree. That is the unborn recognizing the unborn, as only it can. That is being awake.

And that is the very beginning. As I said, I think there is only one real “bang” experience, recognizing the unborn for what it is, and every experience of awakeness after that is the the same recognition. The ongoing process and opening of the heart is this…. will you recognize the unborn in every moment? Every thought that arises, every person you meet, every experience you have, every horrible sensation you have… will you recognize its nature as emptiness, and will you recognize the form as a manifestation of emptiness? Or will you go back in to telling yourself stories about things and people? Will you shy away from people, pain, discomfort? Or will you recognize it as one? They say all is resolved in the unmanifested. When you think of the worst moments of your life…. do you see the shimmering dark there with you? Can you feel the sufferring of it dissolve? Can you feel the hilarious joke and gift that the universe has played? In those horrible moments, the you were somehow convinced that you were alone and unloved.. and yet infinite love was always there. Are you greatful for the gift of illusion? For whatever has arisen in your life?

So I think the ongoing process is the continual recognition of the empty nature of everything that arises. Yes, opening to people may feel different from opening to a tree, as if emptiness is revealing a different side of itself, but it is the same recognition. You may struggle with your awakening for a while. Will you be able to realize your struggling as emptiness as well? Or will you try to quash the constricted feeling, or become attached to the awakening experience. I’ve heard you have to want the truth more than you want to experience it. Will you see the emptiness behind whatever struggles may face you? I’ve found that the simpler things are, the easier it is to recognize emptiness. I’ve tried to feel open all the time, feel the entire universe all at once and it doesn’t work because I ended up conceptualizing it all without realizing it. Just allow everything to be. It’s a continual recognition of emptiness of everything that arises.

What you may find is that the mind is trying to find a “what” to label and say “I am that”. Its used to being able to point to experiences of the body, mind or feelings. But when you become Self, you become nothing. There is nothing for the mind to identify with. Words fail, as this nothing is everything. But silence, unmanifest, witness are a few words people toss around. These may take more meaning now.

One other little thing – there will be lots more surprises. You are not “I” anymore, but soon you will be “I” again. (laughs) Only then, the “I” of all I’s, the cosmic soul, Purusha. The individual, all individuals, are included in the One. But you have to step out of the I to get to the real I.

Theres a kind of cyclic nature to this whole thing. We have to loose what we have in order to get it back again at a higher level.

Davidya’s last blog post..Cooling It

I tend to go along with what Davidya has written because it fits my experience and what I’ve heard Adya say in his talks. It was so unbelievably clear and obvious that the “I” is not what I am. I saw completely through that. But WHAT I am is not clear. Again, it is the two halves of what Nisargadatta said:

When I look within and see that I am nothing, that’s wisdom.
When I look without and see that I am everything, that’s love.
And between these two, my life turns.

And yet, I know it is a story I’m telling myself. All in all, your suggestion, J, is exactly what I’m doing: being still. It is all there is to do.

Thanks again, both of you. I’ve loved your comments.

Over time and with further refinement, Self moves forward and absorbs the heart. Adya talks less about that but clearly describes it on ‘Journey after Awakening’. Then the gut and core identity goes. Mentioned prior. Then the ground is ripe for the second waking. Its very different from the first. Much more the Aha! And then not only are we “self” but everything else is. That is the true oneness, when not only are we one, but everything is. Not intellectually, but in the experience. All of it is within, intimate. In the meantime, time has collapsed into the present. All persons have collapsed into the one person. Literally. We are the same person, like different personalities of the One. Hence the many armed, many headed images. There is only one set of chakras.

The old Upanishad saying “I am That, Thou art That, All This is That” Actually describes the end result and the three stages.

The questions about who and where you are can indeed be annoying intellectual ideas, but just after waking can be useful questions. It can point to the change and add clarity. People experience differently, depending on their opening but there is a change. Sometimes subtle, sometimes profound. I agree, questions like what is the silence, or who is observing these words on the page can also be useful, although I’ve found that more prior to waking. Or when you get a little foggy (laughs).

I agree that accepting the shift is key. The release of resistance is always the way. If we do not accept it, the mind will resist. There is nothing to do but allow what is and see what it is. I know people who saw that the guru was telling them so they just accepted, people who came to get it after a few days, and people who were still resisting that they had switched months later. (still lots of drama – amazing who can awaken)

My tradition is Vedic. I discovered Adya on a friends advice and found he spoke directly to the experience. Different terms, different tradition, but Adya has “stepped out” of the box of his tradition and covers the common ground so well. I remember picking up a copy of ‘emptiness dancing’ and looking at the cover. The quote on the back I mentioned prior was perfectly what i needed to hear. Then a friend invited me over to see the DVD I’ve mentioned. Beautiful explanation of the process underway. I actually transcribed it (laughs)

Thanks for your thoughts. Perhaps for you there is no 2 stages. To fully know Itself, we must experience every possible variation…

Oh!! I missed that part somehow. Yeah, do whatever works for you. If “where am I” works, then do that…. but if you are absolutely sick of asking “what am I”, then maybe inquiring about other things might do the trick, like inquiring about silence behind sound, or whatever else I suggested.

“If I do ask it, there is just THAT, not an experience, but a beingness that I AM. A nothingness that I AM. There is just AM-ness. Very hard to put into words.”

Wow…. that sounds like you’re so close… I am almost tempted to say, “dude!! you’re totally enlightened!!” that’s a joke. But really, that sounds so close it’s almost like you have experienced awakening, but for some reason you aren’t recognizing it yet. But even though you might be close, it will never be any closer until it is actually recognized. I don’t say that to discourage or frustrate in any way…. just to stress that even though you are close, it will not come the harder you try. The recognition is something that can only be allowed in. Be still.

Hmmm, I suppose. I don’t know the specific talk by Adya you are referring to so I probably don’t completely understand it… but to me those two realizations seem to be the same thing. If you realize there is no self, how could you not also realize that there is nothing else? and thus everything is one nothing? And to me it seems you can’t realize there is no self without realizing that you are the unborn, and so is everything.

But who cares about that, it’s probably not important. If you feel there is one step which you have not realized, then the inquiry of “what am I” and “where am I” or “what story am I telling myself” will still be an important keys for you.

As for me, I had an intellectual realization of the oneness of the universe before ever hearing of zen or having an idea of what enlightenment was. It was just a thought like, “well, it’s all one universe, and it must come from the same source, so logically it must be one”. But I really had no experiential sense of oneness. No recognition of unborn as self. I had the steps, but not the recognition. Back then, nothing was just nothing. But at my awakening moment, the unborn was recognized, unquestionably and as sure as I recognize myself looking in a mirror. But again, this paragraph is just a little anecdote that doesn’t mean anything.

I don’t know if it is an issue for you, but if you are trying to get this final step of “oneness”, don’t focus on trying to achieve oneness. It will not come if you think about it. In other words, stop trying and just BE…”what am I?”. Personally, I never asked “what am I” before awakening, although it became helpful. At the time of my awakening, I was contemplating while looking at a tree, “what is behind the tree”… or “what is looking at the tree”, or “what is seeing this sight”, or “what is hearing this sound”, or “what is the silence behind sound?, or the darkness behind light?” Basically, it is all a question of “what is experiencing?” “What am I” is the same thing… but maybe these pointers might help you too.

“@J Stone: I would say people often slowly approach waking, not really sure if they are or not, then there is the switch. The change from experiencing the Self to being the Self. Some say its a bang or pop, but that implies some experience. Its not so much an experience as a being. A shift in who and where you “are”.”

Well, yes. First people have to realize what they are…. which in the zen tradition usually happens in meditation or contemplation. And then one begins to live that realization, or BE it, which yes, can be confusing and subtle. But it is all the same realization. The second just becomes clear in everyday consciousness. The first is a contemplation of the world, while the second is engaged with it. But it’s the same realization. Or maybe it is a different realization. I don’t know. lol.

Interesting comment about Cohen. I know several teachers who seem to be stuck. One who defines others “levels” and who they feel is “fallen”, although they are obviously stuck themselves. There are several places where you can get side-tracked after the first waking.

Yes- hard to put into words. But different. The Where question is very interesting as its often not the here it used to be.

Be very interested to hear what arises.

Davidya’s last blog post..Stages of waking

Also you made me realize what happens to some people, particularly Andrew Cohen. I’ve never paid much attention to his teachings, but the story of his awakening and his falling out with Papaji sounds very much like he experienced the first opening you speak of, decided he was all done, and just shut down from there. His heart feels very closed. And his life seems to reflect that.

I feel like my heart is being pried open at times. I keep getting flashes of things in the past and the movement is to open, to love, to feel the past transformed by the heart.

Finally, you suggested I ask “Who am I?” and then “Where am I?” I almost can’t ask the who or what am I question. I can barely dredge up any movement to ask the question. It is a foregone conclusion. If I do ask it, there is just THAT, not an experience, but a beingness that I AM. A nothingness that I AM. There is just AM-ness. Very hard to put into words.

“Where am I?”, however, elicits a different response. It is hard to say “here” but I also don’t feel much beyond that. It feels as if “something” in me is reaching outward, not really, but that is the sensation of it. I’m going to sit later today with “Where am I?” and see what occurs. I had never thought of doing that inquiry. Cool. Thanks.

Many people have doubts after the switch as the change can be subtle to some. How long that goes on depends on their clarity and ego grip. As you mention, Adya talks about cleaning out the “Leshia Avidya”, remains of ignorance. What I call the ego shrapnel. Some people walk right through that. Some take a few days. Some take some months or years, as Adya says.

You should not confuse this with oneness though. The first switch can include such a sense, but again, it is an experience rather than a being. The first shift is a shift in who you perceive yourself to be. Once that is established, there is a series of further openings and a concurrent refinement of perceptions. In ‘emptiness dancing’ (on the back cover even) and the ‘Journey after Awakening’ DVD, Adya describes the process as 3 stages or levels. This corresponds to many Vedic descriptions as well.

First, it is the mind. The ego and illusion of individuality goes with the switch. The clearing process above is typically clearing the mind, all the old ideas of who I am and what is real.

Then there is the opening of what I call the divine heart. As Adya says, your being starts to dance. Everything comes alive.

THEN you get the second switch. This is the realization one, where everything is found to not exist. It al disappears. The core unconscious gut identity becomes conscious. You have what Adya calls the BBQ. The whole sense of seperateness “just died into transparency. You are dancing – the emptiness is dancing.” Your are united, one with all. The unreal becomes real again, but a very different real. It is all you, so there is a deep intimacy with everything.

Of course, its rarely all tidy like that. Adya had a big Unity experience with his first switch. People are clearing emotional baggage throughout and well before any waking. But along the journey there is 2 markers, 2 switches to mark our progress. After each switch, there is a period of clearing and adjustment and integration.

Some people never make the second switch. Some don’t even know its there. They think the first is the goal. Just as it takes time to integrate the first switch, it takes time to integrate the open heart (imagine all beings in the universe, and all their feelings, inside your heart. All the suffering of the world experienced in a moment, but fully absorbed in divine love) , and it takes time to integrate Oneness. If you rush through them in a few months, then you have more to integrate at once.

Its also important to know that it doesn’t stop there. There is always more growth, more refinement, more opening possible. You’ll also find that there can be a whole series of grand openings along the way. Its not a small change to get from ego to empty fullness.

The really funny part? All of existence, the universe, everything disappears. What remains is emptiness. The emptiness of fullness beyond imagination. A reality that is so much better than the ego’s. But its perfectly normal and ordinary. (laughs) Just the appearance of a DVD like ‘beyond Awakening’ shows just how profound the time is. That people are there.

I loved your closing paragraph. So small and simple. Thats it in a nutshell. And thats the value of a teacher who can say – thats it. Or almost. (laughs) Without that, we simply get clear enough one day to know.

@Tom, I think I covered your post too (laughs)

One thing, though: Adya talks about 2 parts to awakening, the No Self part and the Oneness part. He describes his own experience and that of others as these two parts as distinct. So, in a certain sense, there are 2 recognitions that occur. This has been my experience, as one recognition has occurred but the other has not. But no matter, there is a definite process of vacuuming out the “untruth” hanging around. I feel at times that all I can do is let go, let go, let go.

Has this been your experience at all? I’d be curious to hear more. Thanks for the comment.

What Adya was talking about: it’s not that people slowly get to their awakening, it’s that after they have the bang experience, it is a slow process of vacuuming out whatever is left of ego or untruth or whatever. There is really only one “bang” experience, and that is recognizing yourself, the universe, and the unborn as one…. not an intellectual realization, but experiencing it. But most people find that even after that recognition, there is still a bunch of inner conflict, and people still have difficulty living life with this new found realization…. or they feel like the realization is something that comes and goes, and they feel they need to concentrate to keep that sense of the unborn with them. When you get to that point of “I’ll be dammed” you are at a point where there is no longer any need to concentrate, no more inquiry, no need to sustain any state. And then…. it’s just all gone.

And the bang experience is something so small and simple…. it may come as a simple recognition, or it may be some crazy intense experience. But however you experience the recognition doesn’t matter. There are many fantastic experiences laden with truth, but if the experience is not recognized as the unborn sensing itself through you, then it’s not really truth, but just some experience that happens to you. Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say is what you are looking for is so very simple, and you needn’t be concerned with how powerful the experience will be. It is such a simple thing. Looking back on my life I realize how many times I had the exact feeling of “enlightenment” but I didn’t realize it for what it was. The experience happened, but I simply didn’t realize “who is having this experience?”. Who is reading this?

I hope that might help.

Davidya’s last blog post..Flower of Life

Its funny, really. We are standing in an ocean of bliss, flowing through and expressing all things. Yet we have the creativity to feel alone and unhappy. (laughs)

I’m heading over to your blog to read your last post. It should be a great read.

It’s fascinating. I was born in India and being Hindu, I can relate awakening is akin to communication with your “atma” – “atma” mean one that is eternal, our soul. Often we are enslaved in our thoughts provoked by our mind and not our soul. When we attain to the self, we are awaken. We are awaken because we are connected to our soul that is from “param-atma” mean God.

Shilpan