Written on September 23, 2008 by Tom Stine / 38 Comments »
It seems to me that blogging tends to come in 2 basic flavors. One flavor is where the blogger writes big, long, complete essays on a topic. For the most part, my articles have been of this type. The other flavor has the blogger firing off short, to the point items. These posts never try to be complete, but they nonetheless often communicate something vital to the reader. I’m going to start experimenting with these types of posts. And here is the first one for you.
When you get right down to the nitty gritty of spirituality, you find a very stark realization staring you in the face. And that realization is: you are not in control of your life. “What?” you ask. “How can that be?” Well, just pay attention to one very simple “fact” of your existence thus far: how often do things go your way? From the big to the little, from the important to the trivial, how often does life cooperate with your thoughts, ideas, plans, goals and beliefs? Not looking so good, is it?
We like to think we have control, or we like to think that we have at least some control, but in point of fact, we’ve got none. Hell, we can’t even control the thoughts that flow through our minds, let alone the turning of the wheels of life. And, to get right down to it, there isn’t even a you who is or isn’t in control! How’s that grab you?! No you, no control.
So, who or what is in control? What if I said no one? Or what about everything, the totality of Life? Same thing, really.
I know that this may sound scary to some of you, and downright crazy to others, but the simple truth is this: life has only gotten more delicious and fun the more I’ve come to accept the truth that we have no control. Much like a surfer riding a wave: you have no control over the wave. Your only job is to enjoy the ride! Namaste.
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Written on June 13, 2008 by Tom Stine / 22 Comments »
When I ride on a roller coaster, I love to ride in the front seat. Everything seems to happen right now when you sit in the front. I put my arms up, of course, no holding on, no matter what the coaster does. Upside down, slammed to the side, you name it. It’s just more fun to be on the leading edge of the experience, arms up, come what may.
I realized recently that this same attitude is very important to take with life in general. Especially with thoughts and feelings. We usually “ride” our thoughts and feelings, especially our unpleasant feelings, in the back seat, as far from the leading edge as possible. We hope that the unpleasant ones will simply go away, and if we sit far enough away from them, maybe they will. But they never do. All feelings will keep returning until they are experienced fully.
More and more I’ve had the experience of moving to the front seat and experiencing most of my feelings and thoughts head on. While I can feel everything more powerfully, and some things seem a little more frightening, the whole experience feels more alive and interesting. It feels almost invigorating. I feel like I’m on the leading edge of my life, and it feels good.
In many senses, being on the leading edge is what awakening is all about. We wake-up from riding on a roller coaster with our eyes closed, holding on for dear life, sure we are going to die a horrible death. And we awaken to the realization that the sun is out, the coaster is flying 90 miles per hour, we are strapped in and loving the ride, moment to moment, in the front seat.
The leading edge. That sums it up. We are like surfers, riding the leading edge of the wave, hanging out on the front side. We may always be in the Now as Eckhart Tolle would say, but we can either live it hanging off the back end or riding the leading edge, wind in our faces, hair blowing, shouting, “Yeah baby!”
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Written on June 9, 2008 by Tom Stine / 55 Comments »
Leo over at Zen Habits wrote a post yesterday on the Law of Attraction, basically giving it a big thumbs down. Leo took a very interesting position: a very rational, western scientific perspective on accomplishing things in life.
My first response was to smile and laugh. I mean, for a site called Zen Habits, you would think there would be a little, well, Zen in his response. But no matter. I left a longish comment for him, kind of an off-the-cuff assortment of thoughts and ideas. Here it is:
“Very cool post. Interesting, too, coming as it does on a site called ZEN Habits. No, Zen doesn’t really have much to do with the Law of Attraction, so let’s not get sidetracked there. But let’s do consider that the ultimate foundation of Zen is Buddhism, and the Buddha had some pretty wild things to say about the world, our experience of it, it’s reality, etc.
“I won’t get into the details, but suffice it to say that if you delve into any school of Eastern thought, you will find ideas that are completely at odds with our typical, rationalistic world view. The world we look upon, so convinced of its utter reality, maybe isn’t as real as we think. So much that we believe in ultimately becomes so much ‘mumbo-jumbo.’ ”
“Look at the history of science itself. It is littered with the train wrecks of once ‘unassailable’ givens, things that were so incredibly obvious that you had to be a fool to question them.
“So, can I really think something into existence? Why not. Sure, I can’t prove I can, but then again, we can’t ‘prove’ much of science. That’s why scientists are usually pretty honest by calling things ‘theories’ and ‘hypotheses.’ Very few laws in science, but even those only rest on the simple fact that they’ve always occurred every time they are repeated.
“I guess my bottom line for you, Leo, is a simple question: do you believe in magic? Do you believe in miracles? Do you think that we really have a reasonable handle on what is true and what isn’t? While I’m not fan of the LOA and its devotees, I am a fan of miracles. I’m a fan of being incredibly surprised by the mystery of life that works in some really remarkable ways.
“Lastly, let me leave you with a fantastic statement by one of the most talented writers of the 20th century, Arthur C. Clarke:
“ ‘Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.’
“Think about it. Maybe we just haven’t worked out the technology of ‘magic.’ ”
And that was the end of my comment. Leo was really getting into the comments, so he responded quite quickly:
@Tom Stine, who wrote:
“I guess my bottom line for you, Leo, is a simple question: do you believe in magic? Do you believe in miracles? Do you think that we really have a reasonable handle on what is true and what isn’t?”‘
I certainly do believe in magic and miracles! It is almost impossible to be a parent, for example, and not believe in miracles. It’s hard to do a run at 5 a.m., and watch the sun turn a new day into a miracle, and not believe in magic. It’s hard to go through life, with your eyes and heart wide open, and not believe in magic and miracles.
However, I don’t think that means they are supernatural, meaning that they are outside the realm of science. I think science is just another way of looking at the same things. Is a child a miracle? Yes, I believe so … but a child can also be explained by science.
Is it a miracle when you overcome amazing odds, using the power of positive thinking, to achieve something incredible, as many people have? Absolutely! And yet, that doesn’t mean that science can’t explain it.
The problem comes, in my mind, when we take these miracles and come up with explanations for them that are totally unprovable, that have no real basis in reality, for no good reason, as is often done.
After reading Leo’s comments, I decided to post another comment in response. And I did. And guess what? Leo deleted it! I’ve never had the experience of being bounced before. How cool is that? I’m a radical fit for the delete key. I know the comment got left because a friend informed me that he read it via email (he was receiving follow-ups). Well, I saved the comment before I posted, so I have the comment in its entirety. You can judge how “evil” I was:
[Please note: after I posted this article, Leo wrote to say that he had not deleted my comment, but he couldn’t find it, either. Obviously he had a technical snafu, not surprising, given the volume of comments he gets and inevitable glitches, etc. It was quite nice of him to leave a comment below. He’s quite the stand-up guy, and I was a bit surprised that he would delete my comment in the first place. C’est la vie!]
“Leo, you made some good points. However, your reply left me thinking that you don’t really believe in miracles, the miraculous kind. You know, the person dying of cancer who does some spiritual ‘mumbo-jumbo’ for a few months and is completely healed, leaving her doctors stunned. The medical community calls it ’spontaneous remission’ but that’s a fancy word for ‘we have no idea what happened.’ That’s what the average person calls ‘a miracle.’
“As for me, give me water-into-wine, levitation (the Maharishi kind), spontaneous healing, blind men seeing, all the cool stuff you read about in Yogananda and other works. That’s my kind of miracle.
“Honestly, I don’t think that ’science’ is all it’s cracked up to be. Too many people have too much ‘faith’ in science. The scientific method has its limits. How do you study a phenomenon that might be beyond the mind, such as miracles? What do you use to study it? All science has at its disposal is the human mind. Miracles, the real kind, may be beyond the capabilities of science to explain.
“None of that means that they are supernatural or outside of reality in some way. I’m just questioning the capacity of the human mind to comprehend the totality of nature, the completeness of reality.
“Whether one wants to admit it or not, science is a belief system. The belief at the core goes something like ‘if we study something long enough using the ’scientific method’ then we will understand it.’ You can’t really prove that one wrong, can you? But it may in fact be wrong.
“And this is the type of thing that drives a decent number of physicists (you know, the quantum mechanics guys) to sound more Buddhist than a Buddhist.
“Again, the LOA may be right, may be wrong. But I suspect that most people, myself included, are more turned off by the salesmen for it and the Secret than anything else. They are a bit hard to swallow. And, for most people , the LOA just seems too hokie and simplistic to be believable. And it just might be wrong. And then again….
“Just some more thoughts for you Leo. Namaste.”
I invite you all to head over to Zen Habits and check out the post. It makes for fun reading. Well, actually, the best reading is in the comments. Some really good ones are there. A whole host of people showed-up to join in. Enjoy!
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Written on June 3, 2008 by Tom Stine / 18 Comments »
It has taken me a few days longer than I expected to finish a video post as my response to the question “What am I?” I hope it was worth the wait. Unlike prior videos I’ve done, this one is short, to the point, and of much better quality. I’m having fun with some new lighting and video editing software. I hope you enjoy the video. As always, be sure to leave your responses in the comments.
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Written on May 27, 2008 by Tom Stine / 19 Comments »
I had a client once who asked me to explain further a comment I made to him during one of our sessions:
When you can for just this moment, just for this one moment, completely, utterly totally, beyond accept, love your experience right now, then you have the power to do something about it.
I have seen, in many contexts, the idea of accepting, allowing or welcoming one’s experience. It seems to me that this is a crucial step to letting go or healing any issue. But these terms, welcome, allow, accept, really don’t go far enough in my experience. They do help, but they don’t have the force, the utter radicalness that brings incredible freedom and power. The more radical approach for me is to love my experience.
Let’s say that you experience a bit of hardship or unpleasantness, something like a break-up in a relationship. You are experiencing sadness, unhappiness, a sense of loss and rejection. The question I would often ask a client is “Could you accept or welcome the sense of rejection or loss?” This question helps the client to get in touch with the feeling, to experience it more fully. From there, it is possible to feel a spontaneous release or freedom around the feeling. And that is very good.
However, as I have discovered in my own experience, if you can go beyond welcoming or accepting, and actually go to loving the feeling, even more power is unleashed. For in the moment that you love something, you are saying in effect, “I am 100% happy with the way things are. I don’t need to change a thing.” And that seems to me to be the source of something miraculous. I think it was Eckhart Tolle truly means by The Power of Now.
The Surge of Peace
Every time I do this, no matter what it is I am loving, I feel an incredible surge of peace, happiness and well-being. It is truly remarkable. It goes far beyond feeling a little better about an issue. It transcends releasing or any other process. It feels as if I have activated some hidden power source deep within me, one that goes out into the world through me, liberating me and everything else from suffering.
I encouraged my client in this instance to go beyond just accepting his problem and feelings about it because of the incredible power of love. But it has to be genuine. It requires a bit of radical thinking. It requires a huge leap. Or maybe not. Maybe it just requires a willingness to see what truly is the Truth. The truth that love is all there is.
Loving What Is and Change
Right about now you might be saying, “But Tom, I really do want to change an aspect of my life. How can loving something to the extent that I’m, in your words, ‘100% happy with the way things are,’ allow me to make changes in my life?” I’ve heard these questions before. The answer is quite simple, really. Nothing, repeat nothing can change if you first don’t accept it as it is, at least to some extent. And the more you can accept it, ie, go beyond acceptance and love it, the better.
Think about it: let’s say that you are wanting to lose weight. You’ve tried and tried, but to no avail. You have done everything, but nothing works. Why? The odds are pretty good that you are experiencing a massive internal conflict that is locking the weight in place. You are fighting reality. You are fighting life as it is right now. You are overweight. That’s reality. That’s the truth.
Subconsciously, you can almost hear the battle. “I hate being fat, I don’t like myself,” and on and on. And then there’s the other side: “I want to lose weight, I must lose weight, I should lose weight, I want to be thin!” Accepting things as they are drains the fight out of you. It weakens the battle. Your feelings relax, subside, and you feel more peaceful. And loving things as they are, well, it takes this process an order of magnitude further. The fight is gone, the battle forever done. You love yourself as you are. Nothing to change.
Change Can Be Effortless
My experience is that when I do this important step, change often just happens, with little effort on my part. Things simply improve. You might get on the scale and find that 10 pounds of anger and animosity has been shed from your system and your waist by shifting to love. Peace brings harmony and flow. I recall reading one time that “retained hate = overweight.” Could be, don’t you think? It is easy to see how this process would work if that were true.
So, pick an area of your life that is stuck. Look at it, examine how you are not loving things as they are. Make an effort to drop your criticisms, your judgments, your struggle against it. First accept, then move toward love. For now, simply identify what isn’t working and see how you are not being loving to things as they are. It will make a profound difference if you do nothing else. In future posts, I will talk more about how you can work this process on any issue.
In case you can’t tell, I love working with my clients and helping them to experience radical growth in their lives. I personally learn a great deal from them. I’m glad to be able to share this learning with you. Namaste.
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Written on May 13, 2008 by Tom Stine / 27 Comments »
I’ve been playing around with several ideas about fear for a few months now, and after sharing some of them with a few clients and friends, I feel at least one of them is ready for prime time. It is a very simple and easy way to let go of fear.
First, the Background Info
Whenever you are afraid, your mind is focused on something happening in the future. If you think about it, there is no fear without the future. For instance, if you are afraid of not being able to pay the bills at the end of the month, you are feeling fear about something in the future. Pretty obvious, eh?
But what about being confronted by something dangerous right now? What if I were confronted by a tiger in my backyard (yes, we have tigers roaming free here in Missouri *grins*)? Well, in the exact moment you see the tiger, and your body hits the adrenaline button, you are actually still not in danger at that instant. The fear you feel comes from what you believe is going to happen in the next few minutes, and yes, being eaten or mauled is a real possibility. But notice, it is still in the future. Even if you are being mauled, the fear you are experiencing is about dying in the future.
Okay, you get the point, right? Fear = future. No way around it.
Second, How Fear = Future Helps
So how does this fear = future help me? Ah, now we get to the entire point of Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now, and, for that matter, hundreds of other spiritual teachings. The bottom line to everything Tolle discusses is that there is only one moment, one time, and it is now. There is no future except to the mind (and no past, too). There is only right now. As a matter of fact, you can say there is no time at all. Just now, ever present now, infinite now.
And this simple fact that there is only now is great news. If you are experiencing fear about paying the bills, or a possible illness, or your marriage, or anything for that matter, all you have to do is remember there is no future, there is only now.
Third, The Practice
Using the above, here is a very simple practice you can do whenever you are feeling fear. Note for all the literalists out there: if you are feeling fear because a bus is about to hit you or a tiger is about to eat you, do not do this practice! Run, run like hell. Have some common sense, please!
- Sit down. I’ve found that sitting down is the #1 thing to do when you are feeling any sort of distress. Just sit. You can easily take 15 minutes to sit.
- Review your situation. Spend a moment or two reviewing your situation paying careful attention to how all of it is in the future. That’s the important part. All of it is in the future.
- Be honest about your fears. Name them, say them out loud, write them down. You are already afraid, so you are already telling yourself these things in your mind. So be honest. You are afraid of going broke, of being homeless, of being alone, of dying. Again, notice that it all is in the future.
- Fear = future. Repeat to yourself a few times that the fear you are feeling is about something in the future. Notice how all of these events are in the future.
- “Is it here now?” Ask yourself, “Is any of this stuff here now? Is any of it what I’m experiencing now?” And sit with the answer. Don’t do anything with it. Just experience the answer. Give it a moment to sink down from your head through your body. Feel the answer.
- Notice what is here now. You are sitting in a chair. You are doing this practice. You are quiet. Look at the room around you. Notice that the future you are imagining isn’t here. Allow yourself to sit with right now.
- Sit for a few more minutes. Be still. Just enjoy the moment.
Fourth, The Benefits
Doing this practice has several benefits. The first benefit is that it slows you down, it takes a chunk of nervous energy out of your system. Your adrenal glands get a moment to relax, your heart calms down, your breathing slows, all good stuff for you. Because when your body calms down, it takes a further load off your nervous system. A nice cycle of physical calming occurs.
The second benefit is that by relaxing your body and mind, you open yourself to knew possibilities. It seems to me that creativity is most active in the gap between thinking, in the pause that occurs when thinking stills for a moment. By getting your thoughts out of their imagined future, they naturally calm down, slow down, and at moments become very still.
And in this place of stillness you might have a new insight, a new burst of inspiration about your life and life situations. You may see a way to earn more money, reduce debt, feel a new found love for your partner, experience a sense of peace about your body and any illness it has. Solutions are often found right here in the stillness of now. You will surprise yourself with the creativity you will have when you are still.
The third benefit to you is that you will feel more connected with who you truly are. What you are is Now, is Presence, is here. When your thoughts are floating around in the imagined future, you are removed from the truth of who and what you are. Getting connected to the truth of your being is, well, the only way to go.
So give this practice a try next time you are feeling fear or anxiety. It will work wonders the more consistently you use it. Enjoy!
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Written on May 10, 2008 by Tom Stine / 28 Comments »
I have a coaching client who has quite a bit of difficulty using his hands and arms due to a long-term problem of pain and stiffness. I frequently type notes for him during and after our sessions so he has a reminder of what we discussed, plus it is a good way to make certain he knows what he will be working on between sessions.
We’ve been working together for a while, and I have worked with him often on his beliefs about the various issues in his life. Obviously from my last few articles, I’ve had thoughts, beliefs and thinking on my mind of late, and during our coaching session last week, I said something to him about his thoughts and beliefs on a few subjects, and then I typed the following into my notes for him:
You will discover, if you are open to it, that much of what goes through your head, your thoughts and thinking, look suspiciously like the behaviors of a drug addict or alcoholic.
He pondered this statement for a day or two, and then he left me a message yesterday asking me to explain further what I meant by the above. I typed a response and sent it to him, explaining what I meant and why my emphasis on thoughts and feelings is helpful and extremely practical. He left me another message this morning begging me to post my response on my website because, in his words, “it was freaking brilliant and would help far more people than I could ever help by coaching alone.” Well, who am I to argue with a statement like that? So, here is what I wrote to him (with minor editing to preserve his privacy):
“Our minds, if we are honest, are quite obsessive. They get stuck on a topic and they keep going round and round and round about it. They don’t stop. Like an addict, they go back for another hit, another high, sticking with a subject or a belief until they literally fall apart from it. Just like an addict.
“We continually give energy to our thoughts by believing them to be true. We say, ‘Well, since I thought it, it must be true.’ But a touch of honesty reveals that most of what we think is no where near true. I would contend that none of it is true. It is all just mental noise, far removed from our actual moment to moment, minute to minute experience.
“So, what I’m encouraging you to do is to suck some of the energy out of the stories you tell yourself. That’s why I always emphasized working with your beliefs. Beliefs are stories. You only believe those things you don’t know to be 100% true. Do you have to believe in breathing? Do you have to believe in gravity? No. You may not know what gravity really is, or how breathing works, or whether gravity will be working tomorrow, but it seems to be the case that every time you jump, you come right back down. No believing really required.
“Let me be very blunt with you. You believe that you can’t make money because of your hands. We’ve discussed that many times. Do you have evidence even remotely as strong as gravity to justify this belief? Or did you decide at some point that it must be true? Do you see? You’ve repeated that story so much that if you will look, you will see that you are clinging to the belief that until your hands get better, you can’t earn money. But is it true? Is it real? Where’s the proof?
“And when you start to doubt your own beliefs, you will find that your creativity will skyrocket. Suddenly, things that seemed impossible start seeming possible. You have new prospects, new perspectives. But only when you question your old beliefs. This process is releasing in its most basic form. Real and true and deep Sedona Method releasing. Exactly what Lester Levenson did when he awaken and healed himself from terminal heart disease.
“Plus, as you shed these beliefs, your body will have a chance to relax. It will not be under so much constant mental stress. And who knows what good things might happen if you relaxed your body!
“Is this making more sense? Let me know….. Tom”
I’ve been thinking lately of writing more articles that focus on how to live from consciousness, spirituality, etc. Personally, I think that spirituality is the most practical approach to life and life’s issues. That’s why I work with people. That’s why I write. To help people with life’s ups and downs.
Spiritual awakening seems to me to be the absolute best solution to all of life’s problems and issues. It is difficult to explain, but it is truly amazing the relief that you feel when you start realizing that all of your problems are not a big deal because they aren’t your problems. Quite simply, there is no you to have them. They are just stuff, part of life, but they do not ultimately threaten who you truly are.
I encourage everyone reading this article to do what I encourage my clients to do: challenge your beliefs. Start to see that they are just thoughts, just ideas floating around they mind, and that they aren’t true and they certainly are not you. You will be surprised by what happens when you start to let all this stuff go. All I can say is, “magical.”
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Written on May 7, 2008 by Tom Stine / 55 Comments »
How cool! Some of my regular and new readers are having a lot of fun commenting on my recent post, Are All Thoughts Untrue? I have quite a few responses to make, but I felt it would be more interesting to do another article on thoughts and toss in a little bit on thinking, too. So, here is a random series of thoughts on the subject of thoughts. (Personally, I find it hilarious that we have thoughts about thoughts and thinking.)
- What are thoughts? They are sounds and images passing through awareness. In other words, the sounds you hear and pictures you see “in your head” are all there is to thought. The energy of thought then gets translated into the body and becomes feelings. And really, there is nothing more to it than that. I think. *grins*
- “You can get more stinkin’ from thinkin’ than drinkin’.” The San Francisco sage Joe Miller had a cool way with words, didn’t he? Point well made. It seems clear to me that thinking has far more in common with an addiction than anything else. “Hi. My name’s Tom. And I’m a think-aholic.”
- Who is thinking these thoughts? No one. That’s the ultimate rub of spirituality. The “who” you think you are isn’t. Don’t believe me? Go looking for yourself. In and of itself, that could be all the spiritual practice you need.
- Thinking is conditioned to the hilt. Whenever I studied psychology, I hated B.F. Skinner. I thought all that Behaviorist theory was nonsense. Well, old Burrhus was more right than I could have possibly imagined. Thoughts are incredibly conditioned by our environment. And we all know it, too. That’s why we say, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” and, “You parent the way you were parented,” and lots of other expressions. We are heavily conditioned by our families, school, church, society, you name it. Until, well, you start letting it all go. And then what? Well, something else starts seeping in.
- I seem to have no control over my thoughts. If I had control over my thoughts, I would be able to choose what I’m going to think. I can’t. I can say, “I’m going to think about the ocean,” and then a lovely image of the ocean enters my mind, I may even daydream about walking on the beach. But I didn’t choose the image I saw, the daydream about walking on the beach just popped into my head, and then I had a flash of memory about needing to buy bread at the store. And for that matter, why did I say to myself, “I’m going to think about the ocean.”? My thoughts seem to arise from nowhere.
- We call the “place” where thoughts occur “the mind.” But where is the mind? What is the mind? Show me your mind! Or better still, go looking for it. Point to it. See it with your eyes, hear it with your ears, taste it, smell it, touch it. You can’t? Interesting, very interesting. I would say the mind is a concept about, well, more concepts (thoughts). But no more real than the man in the moon.
- Our thoughts create our reality. True or false? A very popular belief in modern spirituality is that the sum total of all one’s thoughts, feelings and beliefs directly and accurately creates your world. Change your thinking, and you can change your life. You’ve seen The Secret, right? But, is this true? I haven’t a clue. At times it does seem like the world is a direct reflection of my thinking. At other times, the world seems to be exactly the opposite. Some would argue that the world reflects my subconscious thoughts. Maybe so. However….
- Is there a subconscious? Everyone sure likes to believe that there are thoughts outside of our conscious awareness that “stick around” somehow or another. We call this collection of thoughts our subconscious mind. But is there one? No way to know, really. Because as soon as I become aware of a “subconscious thought,” that thought is now conscious and no longer a subconscious thought. It seems we use this idea of a subconscious to refer to those thoughts that seem to repeat themselves. But how can I be sure they repeat? Maybe they spontaneously generate anew each time. No way to know. Thoughts, ideas and beliefs are slippery, are they not?
- We place our identity in our thoughts. We think we are our thoughts. And that’s the trouble. We are not our thoughts. Just for a moment, notice the thoughts you are thinking. Are they you? Do they tell you who you are? Or are you somehow “before” the thoughts? If you add up all your thoughts about yourself, do they really define who you are?
- You are not who you think you are. Ramana Maharshi instructed people to look at their thoughts and see that they all arise from the I-thought, the one core thought that says, “I am all of this stuff I’ve been thinking.” But are you? If you investigate the I-thought, inquiry into “what am I?” and sit with this, you begin to realize that you are not the I-thought. And then it finally dawns: you are not who you think you are. You have been pretending. You are the Void, the Awareness, the Presence, the Nothing, the Emptiness, the Now that is prior to all thought. And that is the where the spiritual journey ends. And a new life begins.
- And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.
As fate would have it, I read this bit of Shakespeare on a blog I love reading, Fake Steve Jobs (yeah, I’m a Mac fan). Perfect, just perfect: “the pale cast of thought.” Right on!
- There is a difference between true and Truth. This one is a tough one, but I’ll give it a try. The Truth is, in my mind, synonymous with Reality or That Which Is. What is Reality? Good question. It is things as they truly are. And, I’m afraid, that is something that is beyond words, beyond thoughts, beyond the mind. That’s just all there is to it. We make a great attempt at describing it in words, but we really can’t. All we can do is point someone in the direction of Truth.
- True with a small “t” is more akin to right or correct. And that is problematic in the world to say the least! What is right? What is correct? I have no answers to these questions. It seems to me that it might be better to ask, “What is helpful? What is useful?”
- “Truth is true, and only Truth is true.” This line from A Course in Miracles
gets it right.
- Maybe the issue isn’t whether thoughts are true. Maybe the real issue is that we believe our thoughts. As one of my friends, Takuin, pointed out in his comments, “The problem is the belief in the thought…. The belief in the thought causes suffering. It is devilish and subtle, because the perceived problems seem real and we want to get away from them. But we can never get away because they only exist in our minds. And besides, who is it that wishes to escape? The believer that believes in the perceived problem.”
- It seems to me that believing a thought is about the same as saying “the thought is true.” Not to quibble, but what is the difference?
- Working with, “no thought is true,” has lead to greater peace and happiness. I can’t get away from this one. The more I identify thoughts that I have accepted as true (should I say “thoughts that I believe?”), and then question the truth of them, the happier and more peaceful I become. Doing so is a part of Byron Katie’s The Work, a technique that I like. I strongly feel that it leads to greater happiness and peace.
- I still think no thought is true. There, I said it. It is, as one commenter, Evan, put it, overly simplistic and too absolutist. But, I still like it. It works for me. If anything, the above “thoughts” on thinking are enough to leave one confused.
So there you go. Some random thoughts. Honestly, as I mentioned in the last point, I can’t really make heads nor tails out of all this thinking stuff. It seems to be an experience we all have, thoughts entering our awareness, passing through consciousness, to be replaced by new and different thoughts. Constantly changing, constantly moving. All ephemeral and difficult to pin down.
Please feel free to leave your comments, thoughts, ideas, whatever, below. I look forward to seeing what the above brought up for you. Namaste.
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Written on May 2, 2008 by Tom Stine / 52 Comments »
A friend of mine sent me the following in response to my article on the Adyashanti Retreat I recently attended:
Still chewing on your premise of not knowing that 2 + 2 will be 4 tomorrow. I have had some discussions with people who seem to be on the path but take it to a ridiculous extreme. For example, a friend of mine claimed the same kind of premise. I said o.k., let me light this lighter next to your arm. I believe based upon past experience and the rules of the world of illusion that you will burn. He said he couldn’t agree that he would burn. He couldn’t agree that the lighter would light. Conceded that may happen but given the fact we’ve both seen the lighter work, just worked and is not empty, it most likely will light. If it does light and placed next to your arm, your arm will most likely burn. One does not ‘know’ the future but can make reasonable predictions as to consequences of the world of illusion.
The world of the formless and the world of form are the same. One arises from another. They are connected. We should resist nothing and be open to everything but ignoring basic principles and observations that repeatedly occur could be done to an extreme and at one’s peril.
First, let me say that I completely agree that there are many people on the spiritual path who take things to ridiculous extremes. I have been one of them. Anything can be taken too far, and it is amazing the forms of trouble we can get ourselves into in spirituality. (Remind me to write about the time 18 years ago when I tried to live on sprouts and sunflower seeds!)
Let’s look, though, at the statement I made that my friend mentions. Here it is in its entirety:
I’ve had various discussions about thoughts with others on the path, and my experience at this retreat reinforced a viewpoint (or more appropriately, a knowingness) I have been taking more and more. And that is that all thoughts are untrue. Even the ones that have a semblance of truth, such as 2+2=4, are still not true. Oh, sure, 2+2=4 is useful, but even a “law” of nature could change tomorrow.
Everything in the world of form changes, or at the very least can change. If you ask me, “Will 2 plus 2 equal 4 tomorrow?” in all honesty I have to answer “I don’t know.” How can I know? The future is always The Unknown.
The Future
I’m going to answer my friend in two slightly unrelated ways. Let’s start by looking at the future. I think everyone will agree that we cannot know the future. Even people who seem to be able to predict the future via some psychic means are rarely so accurate that you would ever take them to the race track and bet on horses with your life savings. The future is the great unknown. As a matter of fact, we can even go so far as to say that the future doesn’t even exist.
How can I say the future doesn’t exist? Simple. Can you see it? Can you hear it? Can you touch it, smell it, taste it? No, not at all. So where is the future? Ah, it is only a thought in the mind. There is no future other than as a thought. It can’t be experienced. Only what is here right now can ever be experienced. That’s why Eckhart Tolle called it The Power of Now. Because Now is all there is to time (you can follow the same line of argument to demolish the idea of a real, solid past).
Do you see, then, that it is literally conceivable that anything can happen? If the future is not only completely unknown, but moreover can never even be known because it doesn’t exist, then it becomes impossible to say that what I remember happening yesterday, or what I’m experiencing now, will continue to happen. As crazy as it sounds, gravity could stop working tomorrow. It might be pretty wild, pretty wacky, and almost surely the death of my human existence (and then again, maybe not!), but that is still a possibility. And not just an abstract, remote one. Anything can happen.
I know saying things like gravity may not work tomorrow or 2 + 2 may not equal 4 are extreme examples, but they are used to illustrate a point. We take for absolute certainty even far more mundane things than the laws of mathematics and science. For instance, every time you worry about what your spouse will say to you about the things you haven’t done, every time you feel fear about the shrinking of your bank account or the security of your job, you are accepting as true a thought about a future that is absolutely unreal because there is no future and no way to know what it would bring if it were real.
Actually, this truth that there is no future is the quickest, easiest way to undo fear. Without a future, you cannot be afraid. Fear is thinking that something is going to happen to you and the response in your body to that thought. Fear is sometimes referred to as a projection of our past (memories, which are more thoughts) onto the supposed future creating yet more thoughts. The body then responds to all this nervous system excitement by releasing adrenaline and a hundred other molecules into the blood. A very familiar process to most of us. But when you drop the notion of the future, you drop your fear. It really can be that simple.
Daily Life
So let me anticipate my friend’s next question: “Okay, Tom, that’s all well and good, there is no future and no way to know if down will be up tomorrow. But how can one function in the world without believing in ‘basic principles and observations that repeatedly occur?’ You haven’t answered that yet. How can you not believe in 2 + 2 = 4 and still do math, balance your checkbook, etc.?” Alright, give me a second, I’m just warming-up!
While it is true that, as I stated, I can’t really believe anymore that 2 + 2 will always equal 4, the key point is that I’m losing all my belief in my thoughts as containing a single iota of truth. As has been said so many times, things like 2 + 2 = 4 are just concepts, simply thoughts that are removed from not only direct experience but also removed from the formless truth. Thoughts are ever changing, part of the world of form. Not bad, not good, just completely unreal.
It is my experience that as you open yourself to consciousness, as you become aware of your true identity as awareness itself, you quit believing in the contents of your mind. All this mental stuff, from the more mundane to the laws of the universe, begin to seem only to serve one primary function: to keep you believing that you literally are the contents of your mind. “I am what I think I am,” says the mind.
But as you awaken you begin to realize that you are not your thoughts. All of this mental stuff is simply the fairly random bursts of energy flowing through your body-mind. You begin to realize that you are the very awareness itself that has been always looking out of your eyes and listening through your ears.
As for daily living, it seems that I can function just fine without believing so strongly in the truth of things. To use my friends example, while I may not believe it is true that the flame from a lighter will burn me, I’m still not going to stick my hand in it. Why not? Because I have a memory that says it will burn me. And nothing inside me really has any interest in being burned. Not because it is afraid of the burning, but because it chooses not to be burned.
Moreover, having a memory of hot things burning me no longer produces the extreme fear or psychic drama that it used to produce. It seems just like a simple “fact” with which I can play along. The laws of the world thus become interesting thoughts with which to play. Without the drama, without my identity tied up in my thoughts, all of these thoughts become tools, at times useful, for existing in the world of form.
Another example of how this seems to work: I woke-up in the middle of the night and had this strong image in my mind of being drowned (I recalled a movie in which someone’s head was held underwater for a few minutes). I felt fear arise about it, but as I went with the image and experience, I could feel myself relaxing into the idea of drowning, feeling myself experiencing the body gasping for air, the last big of consciousness fading away and then dying, and all of this occurring with a sense of acceptance and peace.
As I sit typing these words, I can feel the same type of thing with regard to being burned by a flame. Intensely painful, yet unreal, too. I suppose I’m reacting this way because at a deeper level I realize that this body is not what I truly am. The thought crosses my mind that this burning is, too, a part of the One expressing itself in the world of form. Nothing is separate.
It may be the world of form and change and seemingly unreal, but my body-mind functions in it. The system seems to have some rules, and I seem to be following those rules. But I’m not really thinking about it. So much of this type of thing is just getting done without much, if any conscious thought. Which is cool. And, to be certain, I still have times when I get completely caught-up in the world of form and the thoughts that go through my mind. At times they seem very real and true. But then I recall the truth, something shifts, and all is well again.
To be honest, this not knowing if anything is true has left me to confront the startling truth that I really and truly do not know anything. I don’t know. That is my answer to so many things anymore. I guess it could have been the answer to my friend’s question, but I must confess it is more fun to play around with all these words and ideas and formulate an answer.
And the best thing is that as I’ve admitted more and more that I don’t know, I’ve begun to feel more peaceful than I ever have in my life. A fantastic peace is settling in that is most welcome. And there is a wordless, silent Presence that I have begun to truly, one that I am knowing more and more each day.
All of this seems to be the trajectory of spiritual awakening. There are moments of great opening to truth, experiences of formless bliss (or for some, formless terror), when lots of illusions fall from our minds and consciousness becomes aware of itself. And then there are times of going back and forth, from knowing what you are to getting somewhat lost again in thoughts and feelings and the world. And on and on it goes. Until it finally ceases entirely. Or maybe not.
You really never know, do you? Even ideas on spiritual awakening cannot be known with certainty . No matter who says them or how “enlightened” they are. But that is a different discussion for another day.
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Written on April 28, 2008 by Tom Stine / 34 Comments »
I finished my second 5 day retreat with Adyashanti last Friday, and I’d like to share with you my experience once again. I will follow the same basic format as the last report, so have fun doing a comparison between the two.
Purpose of the Retreat
As I mentioned in my last retreat report, the purpose of the retreat was to deepen one’s experience of Truth, to experience a true opening or moment of pure awareness, and to possibly experience an abiding awakening. Adyashanti is a big proponent of “awakening in this lifetime, if not now.”
Adyashanti
A middle class guy, he used to work as a machinist before he started the spiritual teacher gig. Serious student of Zen for 15 years. A talented speaker and teacher. A guy who likes playing poker. All these are descriptions of Adyashanti. And while I could list 20 more, none of them would even come close to explaining to you what he is like.
I was born a skeptic. I used to be quite judgmental, especially of what I would have called 20 years ago “that religious crap.” My mom taught me from a young age how to find fault in anything (God bless you, Mom!). While it is true that I have changed over the years, quite radically to be sure, I would like to think I’m probably somewhat immune to the whole guru-disciple relationship, or at least extremely uninterested in it. I’m still a touch skeptical.
And guess what? Adya has setup his teaching and organization to make something like that almost impossible. No ashram, no worshipping the guru, none of that. A very welcome change in the spiritual world. A model for others to emulate in my opinion.
This retreat was Adya’s first since returning to teaching after a 3 month absence due to illness. He was in rare form. He was funny, energized, extremely approachable during satsang, vibrant, alive. He was all of these things last December, to be sure, but this retreat everything was double. His time away served him well. He had 350 people laughing, deeply moved, and experiencing Presence.
Silence
The silence at this retreat was SILENCE. It was huge, palpable, intense at times. Alive and vibrant. I entered the retreat in a very different place than the last one, so this time I had a much deeper and richer experience of the true nature of Silence.
Indeed, it was a silent retreat in the conventional sense, which meant no communication of any sort from Sunday evening until Friday at 11:00 am. I love the silence. Very, very good for one’s soul (well, that is if one actually had a soul).
People
How could the people be any more wonderful? There were older women with long gray hair and “earthy” clothing. Young guys with shaved heads. Beautiful women to give the mind something to fixate upon. Ugly old guys with big bellies eating 2 or 3 desserts at dinner. There was no one type or even close.
The silence at this retreat was SILENCE. It was huge, palpable, intense at times. Alive and vibrant.
And then there was the star of the last evening’s satsang, the 12 Step Lady. She wasn’t trying to be funny, but her story, her demeanor, her comments, you name it, had everyone laughing uproariously. She could do stand-up. I can’t wait to get the recording of the retreat just to hear her again.
Finally, as there were a number of us from out of state, we got the experience of sharing a 10 passenger van for a 2 hour trip from San Jose International Airport to Monterey. What a great group who rode down and back together. We met for dinner after the retreat at a lovely Indian restaurant in San Jose. We came from Milwaukee, West Palm Beach, Charlottesville, VA, Barrington, RI, Chicago and of course Ozark, MO (yours truly). Blessings to all of you.
Schedule
Same as before. Meditate for 40 minutes at 7:30 a.m., breakfast, satsang with Adya from 10 a.m.-12 p.m., lunch, 3 meditations of 40 minutes each with 30 minute breaks in the afternoon, rest period, dinner, satsang with Adya from 7-8:45 p.m., final meditation, lights out at 10:00 p.m. We had 5 meditations for a total of over 3 hours of sitting each day. I often skipped 2 of the afternoon meditations because my back was killing me sitting in the meditation hall. I would go sit in one of the many funky old buildings, in a comfy chair in front of the fireplace and meditate or take a walk on the beach. Those times were amazing, lots of great moments sitting in silence watching the processes of my mind.
How I Spent My Days
I got up, meditated, ate, walked on the beach, sat, listened to Adya, slept at night. I did nothing else. No computer, no phone, no conversation. Just hours and hours of meditating and contemplating and sitting.
This retreat was a bit unique because I shared a room with a good friend of mine. And we spent 5 days actively ignoring each other! I tried my best to not look at him because the temptation to slap him on the back or crack a joke was high at times. He reported after the retreat that he had to consciously ignore me, too. It was great to talk with him afterwards, though, and compare experiences. He loved the retreat, too.
Location
Asilomar, you get better each time! The former YWCA camp turned conference center is right on the beach, and this time I couldn’t spend enough time walking down to Pebble Beach and listening to the sound of the surf. Between the beach, the incredible staff who skillfully accommodated 350 silent people, the good food and the funky old buildings, well, it is a perfect location for a retreat.
My Experience This Time Around
I will confess that I went to the retreat with a bit of a theme. I’ve learned over time that expectations can often be less than helpful, but fortunately for me, they did not get in the way. In a certain sense, I really didn’t have an expectation. More of a push in a certain direction. No matter; my bit of theme for the retreat was to deepen my experience of oneness. And, interestingly, I did.
From the moment I got on the shuttle from the airport I started experiencing reinforcement of a framework that I’ve found useful for looking at awakening. I first learned of this framework from Adyashanti, in fact, but I’ve run across it in other places. It is best seen in the following statement from Nisargadatta Maharaj:
When I look within and see that I am nothing,
that is wisdom.
When I look without and see that I am everything,
that is love.
And between these two, my life turns.
I will write an article at some point concerning my experiences with awakening, but suffice it to say that in this framework, I’ve looked within and seen that I am nothing. And so I wanted to go beyond what had been my limited tastes of oneness, of everything-ness. Well, I really shouldn’t say “I wanted to go beyond” but, well, you get the idea. There was something pulling me in that direction.
So, when I got on the shuttle, a woman I met had returned recently from India where she had spent 3 weeks at Oneness University. A long discussion ensued, naturally. When I mentioned a bit about my interest in oneness, she recommended a book to me by Arjuna Ardagh entitled Awakening to Oneness (you know I will buy it and read it, right?). And on and on it goes, oneness, oneness, oneness just flowing out of people’s mouths, Adya’s guided meditations, you name it.
When I look within and see that I am nothing, that is wisdom.
When I look without and see that I am everything, that is love.
And between these two, my life turns.
I dialogued with Adya on the first full day about some recent experiences I have had, and also on this theme of oneness, and he told me what I knew to be the case already: just let it happen. Story of my life (and yours, too, if you must know the truth). Just let it happen. It is inevitable. It is the way of all things. And so, something within me relaxed, and I started having the most sublime experiences of unity with people, things, feelings, locations, you name it. I simply let go, relaxed, and went with the fact that there is no difference between me and anything else other than what my thoughts say. And they are not true. Ever.
I’ve had various discussions about thoughts with others on the path, and my experience at this retreat reinforced a viewpoint (or more appropriately, a knowingness) I have been taking more and more. And that is that all thoughts are untrue. Even the ones that have a semblance of truth, such as 2+2=4, are still not true. Oh, sure, 2+2=4 is useful, but even a “law” of nature could change tomorrow.
Everything in the world of form changes, or at the very least can change. If you ask me, “Will 2 plus 2 equal 4 tomorrow?” in all honesty I have to answer “I don’t know.” How can I know? The future is always The Unknown. As I begin to see things more clearly, it appears to me that there is only one Truth not many, and this one Truth is beyond all words (although it is a lot of fun to attempt to discuss it with words). All else is supposition, believe, mind stuff. And thoroughly untrue. Even this viewpoint (see, lots of fun!).
Bowing
Of course, I could go on and on with my experiences, but I will leave you with one curious thing that happened that has been a joyous relief to me. I live in a part of the US that is not the hippest place to be. We are a middle class, Midwestern place with strong Christian values. Folks like me are not that common. We also lack a strong professional class, and since Missouri State University is here, we have tons of middle class college kids running around. I hope I’m painting a fair and accurate picture. You probably can envision the place, right?
Given all the above, and given that I work at home, it is not that easy to meet “like minded people” where I live. In California, it’s like shooting fish in a barrel, but here, it is more like trying to catch a fish in a toxic lake. That has frustrated me over the years. I have lots of friends whom I love dearly, but I have longed to meet “my people.”
Well, guess what? Everyone is my people. And I learned this fact from a very simple action: bowing. Adyashanti spent 15 years studying Zen before he experienced his final awakening, so he flavors his retreats with a bit of Zen. And one of those flavorings is bowing. At the beginning of each meditation, we are encouraged to bow to our chairs, partly as a way to break the attachment to the “guru” up front by humbling oneself before an inanimate object that is just as “holy” as the holy man up front. Also, bowing to our chair is paying respect to our seat, the place where we will be supported (literally) in our meditations. In addition, we bowed twice at the end of every meditation.
I really got into the bowing on this retreat, and the thought came to me to bow to people whenever I was experiencing any sort of dissonance in their presence. It is amazing the feelings and thoughts that get generated even when people say absolutely nothing to you. Their gestures, their clothes, their jewelry, their hair(!) you name it, all can provoke reactions. But when I bowed, all reaction evaporated. I simply fell silent from the humble action of bowing in humility to what outwardly appears to be another person, but who in truth is the same as what I am.
Inwardly I started to experience a sense of “and them, too” as I bowed. They rarely if ever noticed my little bow, but I did. The sense of oneness grew deeper and deeper from doing so. And now that I’m at home, I’m still bowing. Bowing to the cashier at the grocery store, the farmer driving his truck way too slowly, my son, my ex, everyone I meet. What a blessing! People are so amazingly beautiful when you bow to them.
So you can see that this retreat was Tom’s Oneness Retreat. How nice, wouldn’t you say? That was the essence of everything that occurred for and to me. And I keep on bowing.
The $64,000 Question Yet Again: Did Tom awaken?
I asked this question at the end of the the last retreat report because several people at that retreat had said that they “came to the retreat hoping to awaken.” I gave a nice little answer to the question in the previous report, which was a good one for me at that time. But now, I have a different one:
What a silly question!
A better answer than that will be forthcoming. I need a few more days to sit and reflect and, well, be silent some more. But now I am seeing the question as completely irrelevant and, in point of fact, misguided. That would explain why those who go to retreats such as these hoping to awaken are most often disappointed.
But fortunately for me, I was not disappointed. I’m glad I went. Exceptionally glad. Your thoughts and comments are most welcome.
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