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2. Puppetji Answers the Question “Who Am I?”
3. Awaken to the Eternal – Nisargadatta Maharaj

The first of six parts is below. You can head over to YouTube for the remaining 5 videos. Enjoy!

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1. Destiny Has No Control Over You – Nisargadatta Maharaj
2. Nisargadatta Maharaj: My Life Turns
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Sex is only for reproduction, but you have turned that into a pleasure movement. What else is sex for than reproduction?

It is interesting to me the incredibly varied viewpoints on sex that one runs across in spiritual literature. Interestingly, in the original dictation for A Course in Miracles, the author had a very similar comment, namely that sex was intended only for reproduction. It would seem that abstinence is a quite common viewpoint. But then again, we have the Kama Sutra, Tantra, and some pretty wild Taoist practices that would make a pornographer blush!

From a purely human perspective, we can’t seem to get enough of sex, can we? Spend 30 minutes reading a supposedly news oriented website, or 10 minutes watching TV, or 5 minutes at any movie rated PG or above, and you will be left with no doubt whatsoever that sex is a major preoccupation of humanity.

But how does it connect to spirituality? Does it connect? Are there any conclusions to be made, any definitive answers? Or, in the end, is it just more mental noise clogging one’s psyche? Is the true answer to all questions on sex something like this: enjoy it when you are doing it, and enjoy the rest of life when you aren’t.

I’m turning on the comments for this article so we can have a nice discussion. I suspect that sex and spirituality might stir up some fun comments. Enjoy! Namaste.

Note: I think it goes without saying that all inappropriate comments will be immediately deleted.

credit: Abhishek Singh aka Bailoo

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1. Why I Write About Spirituality
2. Spirituality and Money
3. Is Spirituality More Than Just Awakening?

So, how would you know if “I” am enlightened? How would you know if anyone is enlightened? What’s great about these questions is that (1) they are questions that most spiritual people ask about various teachers and gurus and (2) they are so misguided as to be a bit comical.

First of all, you have absolutely no way of knowing if someone is enlightened or not. Period. No way. Zero. Zip. Nada. How can I be so utterly certain? Because you can’t know anything about another. All you can do is have an experience of them. You may have an experience of where their consciousness is at (ego or One, let’s say). You may see their behaviors. But to know if they are awake? Nope. I feel I have a pretty strong sense of where someone’s consciousness is at, where their “focus” is. But I could be seriously wrong. And beyond that? No clue. And moreover, I don’t really care.

Secondly, questions like this inevitably come back to some pretty fundamental things about enlightenment. For instance, who is it that is enlightened? Is Tom Stine ever going to be enlightened? No, he isn’t. Tom Stine is just a body and mind playing around in the dream state. But is Tom that which will ever awaken to the truth? No.

Then what does awaken? That which is already awake. Oh, isn’t this stuff just crazy to actually see in print? That’s why you gotta take all spiritual literature with a grain of salt. None of it is true. At best, it is an attempt at expressing some form of truth to encourage the reader to find out for himself or herself what all the fuss is about. Never take any of it as a statement of the truth. Find out for yourself what is true!

I think it was Yogananda who said, “Anyone who claims to be enlightened isn’t.” I don’t think he got it quite right. Better to say, “Anyone who believes he is enlightened isn’t!” For enlightenment is beyond any belief as it is beyond the mind.

Just some late night thoughts for you. Namaste.

Related posts:

1. What Do Enlightened Guys Look Like?
2. Realization Is the Best Ego Dissolver
3. A Few Thoughts on Jed McKenna

I was interested to see you recommend McKenna’s books. His description of enlightenment strikes me as a empty, boring state, in sharp contrast to most people’s ideas. Is his “enlightenment” something you find attractive and seek?

Assuming the books are factual, I have to wonder if he got stuck in a dead end on his spiritual path. If enlightenment means pitying, rather than loving, everyone else, and spending days playing video games to stave off the boredom, count me out.

As you can tell by my somewhat tongue in cheek title, I have to answer my reader’s question “yes.” I do find Jed’s enlightenment attractive. And the primary reason is quite simple: I desire the truth. If what Jed describes is the truth, the Truth with a capital T, then I want it. I want nothing but the truth. As Morpheus tells Neo: “I offer only the truth, nothing more.” Even if the truth is I wake-up from my nice comfy world and discover I must live on a hover craft while psychopathic machines hunt me down, then, well, so be it.

I know, it sounds a bit nuts to say something like that, but you see, this whole enlightenment thing IS nuts. I strongly suggest that you let go of any notion of pursuing enlightenment unless you simply have no choice. I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing if I weren’t simply compelled to do it. For most people, some nice, simple garden variety awakenings are more than sufficient. I guess I should explain that some more, but I will save that for later.

My reader also made an excellent point in his email: most people’s ideas about enlightenment are in sharp contrast to what Jed McKenna has to say. But I’ll be honest: my ideas about enlightenment are now, and have been for quite some time, in sharp contrast to most people’s. Enlightenment has nothing to do with bliss and joy and eternal happiness. Most people think that nirvana is some blissed-out state like an infinite orgasm. Nirvana is simply the word the Buddha used to describe the cessation of the separate self (nirvana means cessation, by the way). Enlightenment isn’t eternal bliss: it is freedom. Freedom from the idea you are a someone, a self, a separate entity. The ultimate freedom is to realize you are nothing.

All I’ve found with Jed is an echo of my own periods of realization. I’ve also discovered a thing or two that has radically changed my approach to life here on planet Earth. More on that one at a later date. (I know, I’m always promising more later. But I deliver, don’t I?)

So, in sum, I still strongly recommend you read Jed. He will go a long way toward demystifying enlightenment for you and helping you to see what the spiritual “journey” is really about. The best book of the three is the third one, Spiritual Warfare, but the other two are pretty essential to understanding all that Jed has to say.

Related posts:

1. How Do You Know If Someone Is Enlightened?
2. A Must Read: An Interview with Adyashanti in The Sun Magazine
3. A Few Thoughts on Jed McKenna

First:  I have a sneaking suspicion that Jed McKenna is none other than Adyashanti writing under a pseudonym. I could be wrong. But I’ve listened to hundreds of hours of Adya’s talks, and I have a strange ability to remember the most trivial things. And so when Jed McKenna uses an example that is almost identical to one I’ve heard Adya use, and one that seems quite original at that, I get curious. After 15 times of this happening, I get suspicious. Honestly, it makes me laugh.t

Second:  Jed’s books serve a very important purpose. They are descriptive of what may in fact be one facet of the awakening process. Basically, our attachment to ego has got to go. No getting around it. We think we ARE the ego, and we just have to drop that. That’s why Adya talks of “getting out the swords and hacking and slashing.” You gotta LOOK AT YOUR BELIEFS and see that they are all untrue. Every single one of them is untrue. You have to look at enough of them until the house of cards collapses. Again, that’s why Adya also says, “Awakening can be a bloody mess.”

Jed highlights that part. No, he hammers it home. 99 times out of 100, people don’t just see a glimmer of the Truth and wake up like Ramana or Ekchart Tolle. When they do, they have to sit on a park bench for 2 years or in a cave for 10. When the ego is just blown out like that, the mind/body often goes into major shutdown. For the rest of us, the 99, we have to sit down and look deeply at ourselves, being willing to look at every nook and cranny of our psyche. We have to do something that would make a Freudian analyst pee his pants.

Third: One criticism of Jed is that he seems to deny the “heart” aspect of awakening. He even seems to be disdainful of things of the heart. If you read Jed from a slightly broader perspective, however, you see the heart in what he says. Jed says he “doesn’t do heart” not so much as a dismissal of what we can call Love but as a pointing out that squishy, gooey, New Age stuff (or any religion for that matter) will almost certainly NOT result in awakening. The failure rate is almost 100%. 99.9999% to be completely not-exact.

That to me is a real value of Jed McKenna. He slams home a point that almost no one asks: what is the success rate of most spiritual teachers and teachings? If we answer honestly, we have to say: pathetic. Assuming, of course, that you measure success as awakening (enlightenment). Very, very few wake up. Jed tries to explain why.

Fourth:  I’m reading and recommending Jed because he offers something valuable. A wake up call. If you are on the Enlightenment path, then get down to business. Do it. Find out who and what you are. NOW. Sit down and wade through the ego. See what happens. I’m also recommending it because there is some AMAZING material for those who are not going to attain Enlightenment, a whole huge discussion that he calls Human Adulthood or the Integrated State. You get that in book 3, and it is wonderful. I can’t even begin to describe it here. But suffice it to say, if you simply want a better life, Jed explains how to have that happen. I agree with him completely. You gotta grow-up.

Fifth:  As Adya correctly points, all spiritual teachings are TEACHING TOOLS. They are meant to hit the reader between the eyes and stir up something real and vital. They are never to be taken literally as the truth. Jed’s books, Adya’s satsangs, Gangaji’s satsangs, Ramana’s teachings, you name it, none of it should never be taken literally. And, yes, people do. And their is nothing you can do about that. If you are in the spiritual teaching business, just say your piece and let it go. Humanity will do with it what it pleases. And somewhere along the way, someone will benefit greatly because the real purpose of all these words took place: to cancel out some of your beliefs and allow a glimpse of truth to happen.

Sixth:  The problem people have with Jed is the same problem most of us have with EVERY teacher. The problem is a question our egos love to ask:  HOW AWAKE ARE THEY? People love to play the “my guru can kick your guru’s ass” game. If I’m into Adya, I think he is the most awake being on the planet. If you are into Ramana, he’s the most enlightened being ever. Jed rubs you the wrong way and so you think he is the height of ego. That’s how the mind works, isn’t it? Mine is better than yours. Everyone plays the game. I’ve played it, too.

But guess what? Sailor Bob Adamson said it best:  ”The only difference between an awakened one and one who hasn’t awakened is that the awakened one knows that there IS NO DIFFERENCE!”  Go Sailor Bob!! Yep, that’s it. Not one shred of difference. From the perspective of Truth, no one is more awake than someone else. At best, and again this is just a metaphor, one person is a little better at pretending to be asleep than another. But still…. how can the One reality be different? How can there be an iota of separation between us? It may appear that way, but that’s our only problem!! Appearances can be deceiving!!

So, is Jed the bomb? Is he the most important, biggest, etc? Hell no. Jed isn’t the most awake being. There’s no such thing. Get to the place where you know what Sailor Bob means.

That said:  I also feel I have a pretty good meter for where someone’s consciousness lies. On one end of the scale is very egoic. On the other end, hardly any ego, every clear. Jed’s at the clear end. How clear? I don’t know. How much ego left? Don’t know. Does he need to “awaken” some more? Don’t know. Adyashanti? Very clear. More awakening? Don’t know. Don’t care, either.

As for other spiritual teachers who have the label “enlightened” attached to them, my meter says they ain’t so hot. But so what?!?! If my meter says still egoic, then I don’t touch their teachings. Doesn’t mean I’m right, it just means I’m not interested in their teachings. I certainly think some of these so called “enlightened” gurus have experienced a great deal of awakening to the truth. But full blown enlightenment? Not according to my meter. But hey, my meter may suck!! It really doesn’t matter in the end anyway.

None of this stuff is a problem unless we take it all seriously, like it matters. It doesn’t. The truth is to let all that stuff go and just enjoy the dance of life. Nothing else to do. As Jed and Adya (and Ramana and Nisargadatta and many others) point out, it’s all about surrender in the end. True surrender. What you are surrenders its illusions to the Truth. Just let it all go!

So, again, get Jed McKenna’s book. Believe it or not, I’ve got more to say about Jed and enlightenment, but I’ll save that for my next post.

Related posts:

1. Read Jed McKenna
2. A Must Read: An Interview with Adyashanti in The Sun Magazine
3. 18 Random Thoughts About Thoughts and Thinking

• Spiritual Enlightenment: The Damnedest Thing
• Spiritually Incorrect Enlightenment
• Spiritual Warfare

These 3 books are fantastic. They are a very clear and detailed explanation of spiritual awakening. Jed does a nice job of showing some of the ins and outs. I don’t necessarily agree with every last word of his, but for the most part, Jed has written books that capture my experience quite well.

One curious thing, however: who is Jed McKenna? If you google him, you will come up very short. He seems to hardly exist. There is even some speculation that the house and ashram he describes in the first book may in fact never have existed. So, the stories in the books may be fictional to some extent. However, the information is not fictional in the slightest.

Read and enjoy. If you would like to buy the books from Amazon, here are the links (from which I receive a tiny commission):

Related posts:

1. A Few Thoughts on Jed McKenna
2. I Want to Be Like Jed
3. The Quest for Enlightenment – Jed McKenna

I had the pleasure of interviewing a wonderful spiritual teacher, Larry Melton, who lives and teaches in Davis, California. Larry was a student of Adyashanti’s for a few years, and then after he experienced a profound spiritual awakening, he was asked by Adya to teach.

Our conversation is focused primarily on Larry’s experience of spiritual awakening, how that developed over the years he spent in spirituality, and what all of that has meant for his life. We also discussed awakening quite a bit, and it was fascinating to hear Larry’s perspectives and insights. I think you will agree. So click play below to listen now, or download the mp3 and take it with you on your iPod.

I know from my prior experience with videos that some of you may prefer to read rather than watch or listen. To accommodate everyone, I’ve had a transcript made of this interview. You can obtain the transcript by subscribing for free to my newsletter, Living from Consciousness. Enter your email address in the sign-up box to the right, and you will receive an email with instructions for downloading the transcript. Current subscribers will be receiving an email, too, with instructions for downloading.

I like to provide my subscribers with unique content not found here on the website, and this transcript is simply my way of saying thanks to my subscribers. Remember, the newsletter is free, and I respect your inbox and your privacy (but you knew that, right?).

Related posts:

1. A Must Read: An Interview with Adyashanti in The Sun Magazine
2. My Interview on Divine Purpose Unleashed Radio
3. Spiritual Awakening – Adyashanti’s View

credit: ((brian))

A short and sweet article for today. I simply want to state my gratitude to Eckhart Tolle and Oprah Winfrey for what they’ve given us with their collaboration a few months back in the excellent series of webinars on Oprah.com. And what have they given us? A populace buzzing with interest in our passion: spirituality. And not just any old spirituality, not your garden variety spirituality that sounds like the humdrum world of church and religion. No, I’m talking the kind of spirituality that ultimately leads to spiritual awakening.

You see, Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth, is really about spiritual awakening. He never says it in his book, for quite likely good reasons, but nonetheless, that is the purpose of it. When the ego fades, when that which we are realizes that it is not a separate self living a life of separation from the rest of life and humanity, we call that spiritual awakening. The Buddhists call it enlightenment. But in contemporary terms, I prefer to think of it as an awakening, a waking up from the dream that we are separate.

By bringing this book to the awareness of millions of people, Eckhart and Oprah have put spiritual awakening on the playing field. No longer is it the province of eccentric spiritual seekers, Zen students and residents of ashrams. It is in the mainstream consciousness of the world.

I’ve been hearing stories, from friends, from people I meet on trips, in the media, everywhere, of people picking-up A New Earth and being changed by it. One friend in particular has reported a dramatic change in her otherwise conservative, devout Catholic mother, a change that has resulted in a happier person. I even saw a woman reading A New Earth at my son’s taekwondo school (and, if you recall, I live in the Bible Belt!).

If you visit Barnes & Noble or any large bookstore, you will notice that the books on spirituality, Eastern religions, new age metaphysics, etc, have grown in number. The end caps are filled with books about “the universal field,” consciousness, The Tao of Peeling Potatoes, Zen for Dummies, you name it. It really is astounding. Maybe the Age of Aquarius has finally arrived?

So, no matter what you think of Eckhart Tolle’s book (or Oprah for that matter), you cannot deny that they both have done you and me a service. Spritual awakening is out of the closet and in the consciousness of the world. So, thank you Eckhart and Oprah, and a deep bow to both of you. I think the “future” of our planet might turn out better than anyone could expect. Namaste.

Related posts:

1. A New Earth: Eckhart Tolle and Oprah
2. Disentangling the Sense of I – Eckhart Tolle
3. Your Inner Purpose is to Awaken – Eckhart Tolle

The following video is Puppetji on The Secret. Always remember to take time to laugh. God always laughs at us. It’s her job. Enjoy, and watch some other Puppetji videos when you have time.

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I finished my second 5 day retreat with Adyashanti last Friday, and I’d like to share with you my experience once again. I will follow the same basic format as the last report, so have fun doing a comparison between the two.

Purpose of the Retreat

As I mentioned in my last retreat report, the purpose of the retreat was to deepen one’s experience of Truth, to experience a true opening or moment of pure awareness, and to possibly experience an abiding awakening. Adyashanti is a big proponent of “awakening in this lifetime, if not now.”

Adyashanti

A middle class guy, he used to work as a machinist before he started the spiritual teacher gig. Serious student of Zen for 15 years. A talented speaker and teacher. A guy who likes playing poker. All these are descriptions of Adyashanti. And while I could list 20 more, none of them would even come close to explaining to you what he is like.

I was born a skeptic. I used to be quite judgmental, especially of what I would have called 20 years ago “that religious crap.” My mom taught me from a young age how to find fault in anything (God bless you, Mom!). While it is true that I have changed over the years, quite radically to be sure, I would like to think I’m probably somewhat immune to the whole guru-disciple relationship, or at least extremely uninterested in it. I’m still a touch skeptical.

And guess what? Adya has setup his teaching and organization to make something like that almost impossible. No ashram, no worshipping the guru, none of that. A very welcome change in the spiritual world. A model for others to emulate in my opinion.

This retreat was Adya’s first since returning to teaching after a 3 month absence due to illness. He was in rare form. He was funny, energized, extremely approachable during satsang, vibrant, alive. He was all of these things last December, to be sure, but this retreat everything was double. His time away served him well. He had 350 people laughing, deeply moved, and experiencing Presence.

Silence

The silence at this retreat was SILENCE. It was huge, palpable, intense at times. Alive and vibrant. I entered the retreat in a very different place than the last one, so this time I had a much deeper and richer experience of the true nature of Silence.

Indeed, it was a silent retreat in the conventional sense, which meant no communication of any sort from Sunday evening until Friday at 11:00 am. I love the silence. Very, very good for one’s soul (well, that is if one actually had a soul).

People

How could the people be any more wonderful? There were older women with long gray hair and “earthy” clothing. Young guys with shaved heads. Beautiful women to give the mind something to fixate upon. Ugly old guys with big bellies eating 2 or 3 desserts at dinner. There was no one type or even close.

And then there was the star of the last evening’s satsang, the 12 Step Lady. She wasn’t trying to be funny, but her story, her demeanor, her comments, you name it, had everyone laughing uproariously. She could do stand-up. I can’t wait to get the recording of the retreat just to hear her again.

Finally, as there were a number of us from out of state, we got the experience of sharing a 10 passenger van for a 2 hour trip from San Jose International Airport to Monterey. What a great group who rode down and back together. We met for dinner after the retreat at a lovely Indian restaurant in San Jose. We came from Milwaukee, West Palm Beach, Charlottesville, VA, Barrington, RI, Chicago and of course Ozark, MO (yours truly). Blessings to all of you.

Schedule

Same as before. Meditate for 40 minutes at 7:30 a.m., breakfast, satsang with Adya from 10 a.m.-12 p.m., lunch, 3 meditations of 40 minutes each with 30 minute breaks in the afternoon, rest period, dinner, satsang with Adya from 7-8:45 p.m., final meditation, lights out at 10:00 p.m. We had 5 meditations for a total of over 3 hours of sitting each day. I often skipped 2 of the afternoon meditations because my back was killing me sitting in the meditation hall. I would go sit in one of the many funky old buildings, in a comfy chair in front of the fireplace and meditate or take a walk on the beach. Those times were amazing, lots of great moments sitting in silence watching the processes of my mind.

How I Spent My Days

I got up, meditated, ate, walked on the beach, sat, listened to Adya, slept at night. I did nothing else. No computer, no phone, no conversation. Just hours and hours of meditating and contemplating and sitting.

This retreat was a bit unique because I shared a room with a good friend of mine. And we spent 5 days actively ignoring each other! I tried my best to not look at him because the temptation to slap him on the back or crack a joke was high at times. He reported after the retreat that he had to consciously ignore me, too. It was great to talk with him afterwards, though, and compare experiences. He loved the retreat, too.

Location

credit: hortulus

Asilomar, you get better each time! The former YWCA camp turned conference center is right on the beach, and this time I couldn’t spend enough time walking down to Pebble Beach and listening to the sound of the surf. Between the beach, the incredible staff who skillfully accommodated 350 silent people, the good food and the funky old buildings, well, it is a perfect location for a retreat.

My Experience This Time Around

I will confess that I went to the retreat with a bit of a theme. I’ve learned over time that expectations can often be less than helpful, but fortunately for me, they did not get in the way. In a certain sense, I really didn’t have an expectation. More of a push in a certain direction. No matter; my bit of theme for the retreat was to deepen my experience of oneness. And, interestingly, I did.

From the moment I got on the shuttle from the airport I started experiencing reinforcement of a framework that I’ve found useful for looking at awakening. I first learned of this framework from Adyashanti, in fact, but I’ve run across it in other places. It is best seen in the following statement from Nisargadatta Maharaj:

When I look within and see that I am nothing,
that is wisdom.
When I look without and see that I am everything,
that is love.
And between these two, my life turns.

I will write an article at some point concerning my experiences with awakening, but suffice it to say that in this framework, I’ve looked within and seen that I am nothing. And so I wanted to go beyond what had been my limited tastes of oneness, of everything-ness. Well, I really shouldn’t say “I wanted to go beyond” but, well, you get the idea. There was something pulling me in that direction.

So, when I got on the shuttle, a woman I met had returned recently from India where she had spent 3 weeks at Oneness University. A long discussion ensued, naturally. When I mentioned a bit about my interest in oneness, she recommended a book to me by Arjuna Ardagh entitled Awakening to Oneness (you know I will buy it and read it, right?). And on and on it goes, oneness, oneness, oneness just flowing out of people’s mouths, Adya’s guided meditations, you name it.

I dialogued with Adya on the first full day about some recent experiences I have had, and also on this theme of oneness, and he told me what I knew to be the case already: just let it happen. Story of my life (and yours, too, if you must know the truth). Just let it happen. It is inevitable. It is the way of all things. And so, something within me relaxed, and I started having the most sublime experiences of unity with people, things, feelings, locations, you name it. I simply let go, relaxed, and went with the fact that there is no difference between me and anything else other than what my thoughts say. And they are not true. Ever.

I’ve had various discussions about thoughts with others on the path, and my experience at this retreat reinforced a viewpoint (or more appropriately, a knowingness) I have been taking more and more. And that is that all thoughts are untrue. Even the ones that have a semblance of truth, such as 2+2=4, are still not true. Oh, sure, 2+2=4 is useful, but even a “law” of nature could change tomorrow.

Everything in the world of form changes, or at the very least can change. If you ask me, “Will 2 plus 2 equal 4 tomorrow?” in all honesty I have to answer “I don’t know.” How can I know? The future is always The Unknown. As I begin to see things more clearly, it appears to me that there is only one Truth not many, and this one Truth is beyond all words (although it is a lot of fun to attempt to discuss it with words). All else is supposition, believe, mind stuff. And thoroughly untrue. Even this viewpoint (see, lots of fun!).

Bowing

credit: Kanzeon Zen Center

Of course, I could go on and on with my experiences, but I will leave you with one curious thing that happened that has been a joyous relief to me. I live in a part of the US that is not the hippest place to be. We are a middle class, Midwestern place with strong Christian values. Folks like me are not that common. We also lack a strong professional class, and since Missouri State University is here, we have tons of middle class college kids running around. I hope I’m painting a fair and accurate picture. You probably can envision the place, right?

Given all the above, and given that I work at home, it is not that easy to meet “like minded people” where I live. In California, it’s like shooting fish in a barrel, but here, it is more like trying to catch a fish in a toxic lake. That has frustrated me over the years. I have lots of friends whom I love dearly, but I have longed to meet “my people.”

Well, guess what? Everyone is my people. And I learned this fact from a very simple action: bowing. Adyashanti spent 15 years studying Zen before he experienced his final awakening, so he flavors his retreats with a bit of Zen. And one of those flavorings is bowing. At the beginning of each meditation, we are encouraged to bow to our chairs, partly as a way to break the attachment to the “guru” up front by humbling oneself before an inanimate object that is just as “holy” as the holy man up front. Also, bowing to our chair is paying respect to our seat, the place where we will be supported (literally) in our meditations. In addition, we bowed twice at the end of every meditation.

I really got into the bowing on this retreat, and the thought came to me to bow to people whenever I was experiencing any sort of dissonance in their presence. It is amazing the feelings and thoughts that get generated even when people say absolutely nothing to you. Their gestures, their clothes, their jewelry, their hair(!) you name it, all can provoke reactions. But when I bowed, all reaction evaporated. I simply fell silent from the humble action of bowing in humility to what outwardly appears to be another person, but who in truth is the same as what I am.

Inwardly I started to experience a sense of “and them, too” as I bowed. They rarely if ever noticed my little bow, but I did. The sense of oneness grew deeper and deeper from doing so. And now that I’m at home, I’m still bowing. Bowing to the cashier at the grocery store, the farmer driving his truck way too slowly, my son, my ex, everyone I meet. What a blessing! People are so amazingly beautiful when you bow to them.

So you can see that this retreat was Tom’s Oneness Retreat. How nice, wouldn’t you say? That was the essence of everything that occurred for and to me. And I keep on bowing.

The $64,000 Question Yet Again: Did Tom awaken?

I asked this question at the end of the the last retreat report because several people at that retreat had said that they “came to the retreat hoping to awaken.” I gave a nice little answer to the question in the previous report, which was a good one for me at that time. But now, I have a different one:

What a silly question!

A better answer than that will be forthcoming. I need a few more days to sit and reflect and, well, be silent some more. But now I am seeing the question as completely irrelevant and, in point of fact, misguided. That would explain why those who go to retreats such as these hoping to awaken are most often disappointed.

But fortunately for me, I was not disappointed. I’m glad I went. Exceptionally glad. Your thoughts and comments are most welcome.

Related posts:

1. Adyashanti Retreat Report
2. A Must Read: An Interview with Adyashanti in The Sun Magazine
3. Heading to an Adyashanti Retreat

Purpose of the Retreat

The purpose of the retreat was to deepen one’s experience of Truth, to experience a true opening or moment of pure awareness, and to possibly experience a true awakening. Adyashanti is a big proponent of “awakening in this lifetime, if not now.”

Adyashanti

I’ve been quite excited about Adya and his teachings since last April. He has had a huge impact upon me. After this retreat, I can say that beyond question I have found someone that I would call my teacher if I actually wanted a spiritual teacher. He is completely my cup of tea. He is a regular guy, very down to earth, somewhat flippant, a bit radical, honest, incredibly personable. He speaks my language. He talks like a middle class guy who grew up in the 70’s and 80’s (he is 45). In fact, he is a middle class guy! His spiritual beginnings were in Zen, so there is a bit of a Zen flair to him: funky Buddhist shirts, stubble haircut, sits cross-legged in bare feet. But he speaks normally, more like he’s jawing with a couple of buddies on a Saturday afternoon, although he does quote a lot of Zen masters.

Is Adyashanti “the real deal”?

photo credit: emdot

For my money, yes, he is. There is nothing I can tell that is fake or phony about him. He feels very, very clean to me. Even cleaner than Hale Dwoskin (Sedona Method, for those not familiar) and Eckhart Tolle, both of whom are very genuine and real. I got the same message from others at the retreat (of course, we were all fairly biased). Nothing sticky about him that I can tell. I had come out to see him 3 weeks prior, and after arriving in California, the weekend intensive I was attending was cancelled (he was ill). That forced me to do a lot of letting go around my expectations of seeing him, etc., which was very good. So when the retreat started, I felt very open and available to whatever happened. Very few expectations.

We had an orientation the first night by the retreat leader, a few minutes of silent sitting, then Adya walked into the room. When he entered and started walking to the front, I felt like someone had turned on a 10,000 watt light bulb inside my head. I felt a tremendous surge of energy, of awareness, of LIGHT. It was incredible. I was buzzing for a few hours after that…. no, really a few days. The guy is transmitting some serious spiritual mojo. Something shifted in me for certain. I could really sense his presence the whole time. My personal intuition is that awake and enlightened are words that could be attached to him. Tricky words to use, yes, but I think he would deserve them.

Silence

This was a silent retreat. From the opening of meditation on Sunday to 11:00 am on Friday, no one spoke except to dialogue with Adya. We ate in silence, we experienced sharing a room in silence. Contrary to what most of my friends had predicted, I had a very easy time with it. I had to break silence a few times because of issues that arose, but I never just blew it. It was always a conscious choice at unavoidable times. Truly, keeping silence was amazing. I loved it. The opportunity to hear the chatter in my head, to get familiar with it, to experience it, and to see how thoroughly it wasn’t me, was perfect, an excellent practice in and of itself. Another benefit of silence was it eliminated any concerns of socializing. I would enter the dining hall, take the next available seat at the 10 person tables, and begin the dining process. I didn’t care who I sat by, who was at my table, anything. No pressures. Fantastic. Silence was a blessing, something to be cherished. It was a vital part of the experience.

photo credit: Liel Bomberg

People

I loved the people at the retreat. I got to speak with my roommate for a few hours before the retreat began. There were odd and funny parallels between us. I spoke with people on the shuttle to and from the airport, and at lunch on the last day. Great people. When they dialogued with Adya, they were so genuine and real. Very much like a Sedona Method retreat, and yet different. What a gift to be with 350 people who all are seeking to awaken. Yes, 350 people. We filled a very large hall for satsangs and meditation. I recognized at least 5 people from Sedona Method retreats, which was good.

Schedule

Meditate for 40 minutes at 7:30 a.m., breakfast, satsang with Adya from 10 a.m.-12 p.m., lunch, 3 meditations of 40 minutes each with 30 minute breaks in the afternoon, rest period, dinner, satsang with Adya from 7-8:45 p.m., final meditation, lights out at 10:00 p.m. We had 5 meditations for a total of over 3 hours of sitting each day. My spirit was willing, but the flesh was weak. I often bagged 2 of the afternoon meditations because my back was killing me sitting in the meditation hall (yes, we even had chairs to sit on). I would go sit in one of the many funky old buildings, in a comfy chair, and meditate, or watch the trees sway in the wind, or take a walk. Those times were amazing, lots of great moments sitting in silence watching the processes of my mind.

How I spent my days

I got up, meditated, ate, walked, sat, lied down in the late afternoon, listened to Adya, slept at night. We did nothing else. No computer, no phone, no conversation. Just hours and hours of meditating and contemplating and sitting. The primary meditation instruction was to be still, to allow everything to simply be: every thought, feeling, experience, perception, everything. Just be. My mind would chatter like a squirrel at times. But I would sit. Rarely did I get bored.

Location

Asilomar, a wonderful retreat and conference center near Monterey, California, with frontage on the ocean. Beautiful grounds, walkways among the sand dunes, wonderful old buildings to sit in and watch a fire in the many fireplaces. Huge dining hall, excellent, basic food (meat and veggie options), I really enjoyed the dining. We couldn’t talk, so we basically just sat and ate what we were fed. It was nice. I had a plate of food, I ate it, sat and drank tea, and allowed it to be enough. I never was hungry. I probably lost a few pounds of fat. I felt great.

My experience

Incredible. My understanding of my spirituality got deeper. I had some amazing experiences like the light on the first night. A few times I felt myself go to the very edge of my mind, really sitting and staring at the nothingness, feeling around the edges of my experience. Adya triggered some great insights into myself, understandings about what I’m about. I can’t wait to go back.

The $64,000 question: did Tom awaken?

In the conventional sense of the word, no, I didn’t. There was no bang!, you are now awake experience. While I have had experiences in the past that were more of a bang nature, the impact of this retreat has been much more lasting. One thing that Adya discusses a lot is that he has met far more people that slowly get their awakening than people who go bang!. He describes it as they get to a place where they just go, “well I’ll be damned!” From this retreat, I can say I’m at “well I’ll be d….” I’m on the edges of it. I can just feel it. Sense it. It is there, right there.

And here is the kicker: there is nothing I can really do to get “there”. Because the question isn’t really “did you awaken?”, the question is really “did that in you which is awake realize itself?” Who awakens, you see, is the most important question. Tom doesn’t. What Tom truly is does. But then again, it doesn’t either. It is already awake. I know, it is a seemingly big paradox. What we are, consciousness, awareness, presence, is already there. It is constantly moving toward a fuller understanding of itself, and that is what awakening really is: a fuller realization of itself through you and me. The little self, the ego, the mind, whatever you want to call it, isn’t real in the first place, so how can it wake up? And that only leaves the absolute reality, consciousness, but it is already awake. Paradox!! So, what I am is already awake. So is what you are. And awakening is just recognizing that it is so. Nisagardatta Maharaj said that his guru told him that he was the Supreme Reality, and he then just sat with that until he realized it completely to be True. That’s it.

Okay, so in a conventional sense, Tom didn’t awaken, but he is waking up. But so are you. We go together, you and I.

Related posts:

1. Adyashanti Retreat Report No. 2
2. Returning Home
3. Heading to an Adyashanti Retreat

Adyashanti is a wonderful spiritual teacher from near San Jose, California. He is “an awakening guy” as he likes to say, and his teacher is focused exclusively on spiritual awakening. For my money, he is the real deal.

Related posts:

1. Adyashanti Retreat Report
2. Interview with Larry Melton, Spiritual Teacher
3. Adyashanti Retreat Report No. 2