Layer After Layer After Layer
Written on December 14, 2008 by Tom Stine
For most of us, a part of the journey of awakening will involve a process of letting go of layer after layer after layer. You sit, you see through something, you feel this tremendous release, and your mind says, “Wow, I’ve really seen through this thing. I’m getting pretty free.” But are you free? How can you tell if you are or aren’t?
A friend of mind just help me to see how you can tell whether you are free on a subject or not. It’s so simple, I really can’t believe I missed it. Ready? Here is it:
If you still give a hoot about it, then you aren’t free. There is more to be seen through.
Let’s use an example. Let’s say you are madly in love with a woman. Not that that has ever happened to any of you, but let’s pretend, shall we? 
You sit, you look at the situation, you let go of your feelings about her, you look at your beliefs, you challenge yourself to see her from any and ever angle. You reach an incredible place of clarity, peace and love. You feel incredible joy and love for this person. You find that, amazingly, you feel more love than you could have possibly imagined regardless of what happens between you. Your heart is wide open, and you feel better than you’ve felt in years. Yes, you’ve really opened and experienced great peace, joy and love.
All done, right? You’re free right? You might be. How can you be certain. Simple. Do your thoughts go to this person frequently? Do you still find yourself “drawn” to her? Do you find that you can’t get away from your thoughts about her? Ah, well, congratulations, you’ve discovered another layer. Time to sit down in your chair, open your heart, and be open and present with all the thoughts and feelings that arise within you. Round 2 or 8 or 20 has just arrived.
The layers will arise, one after another, until you are done. There is no way to tell how many there are, or when they will be finished. But a simple thing to do is to be utterly grateful to each one and to their seeming source, the worldly object that appears to give rise to them. And when your mind is finally quiet, then you will know you are finally free. You won’t give a hoot. And you will be supremely happy.
Dedicated to my dear friend M. Namaste.
on December 14th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Maybe the idea that you have all these layers to see through is keeping you from being free right here and now?
I don’t know – I am just starting to question these things (”You must do this and that to awaken, and then you will be happy” type stuff). Is it not subtly re-inforcing the idea of a self to achieve this, and a process to get somewhere other than here?
Thanks for the article Tom,
Jacob
on December 14th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
@Jacob Ah, yes, I see I made a slight error in how I worded the first sentence of this post. I should have said a PART of the journey of awakening is seeing through layer after layer. In a certain sense, we can see that the “layers” are merely constructs of the mind, and they don’t have anything to do with what we are. And yet, in my experience, and that of others, peeling the layers seems to be a part of the journey. Even after awakening, there can still be mental “noise” that needs a bit of seeing through. It’s not good or bad, it just is a bit smoother without the noise.
For me it isn’t a question of “I must see through layers to awaken,” but rather something more spontaneous. It becomes obvious that something is clouding my “vision” and so I then more to brush it away. Sometimes I simply look at the the cloud. Sometimes I blow it out of the sky. But always I am the cloud, the sky and the sun. It’s just that sometimes we forget or don’t see it as clearly as we did at another moment.
Thanks for the comment! I’m going to edit the post a touch.
on December 14th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Jacob,
There may or may not be these layers. Everyone seems to talk about them and everyone seems to work on them, but that really means nothing. The only thing we can do is assume they are there, then find out if they are.
I think in this conversation, layers equal thoughts or beliefs, correct? The idea, “I am in love with him or her for these reasons,” is really no different from, “I am a terrible person for these reasons.” This goes on and on, in millions of possible combinations.
So what are we to do? Sift through every possible combination of these layers until the end of time? People do this, but it doesn’t seem terribly efficient. So what do we do?
Let’s assume these layers are really here, in every possible combination. Is each layer really any different from one another? Honestly look at them. Is there any difference between one layer and another? There are superficial differences, certainly. But that has no real value if we are thinking of these layers as a whole.
What happens when we question one layer (or related series of layers)? If it is not cleared, you won’t notice the difference until you are in conflict. If it is cleared, another layer pops up to take its place, like the candy in a PEZ dispenser. (This can go on and on, but I am not saying it HAS to be this way.)
If we take the layers to be a fact, with their millions of little soldiers, and we pluck each one individually, there is very little hope of reaching the “end” one desires (with that very desire being another layer). So what do we do?
If we think of the layers as little soldiers, they have to take their orders from somewhere. They are simply pawns to reach a certain end, after all. So what is the General that calls the shots for all of our little soldiers?
There is an underlying functioning that allows these layers to persist in the way they do. A point of origin. But we never question that point of origin; only what it produces.
I suppose it is analogous to removing a single head from the hydra. Only, the hydra in our mind has endless heads.
on December 14th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
Over and over we come back and find there is some new value to see through. I find this very true. Today, I was listening to Wayne Dyer talk about the Tao and ego. He mentioned the ego aspect of ‘I am what I have.’ In that I saw there were certain things I have from my past that have a subtle grip or holding. Another value that had not been seen. What is it about them that causes a grip? Why the sense of need and fear? It’s useful to explore. Do I disappear without a past? (laughs)
It can seem life continues to present us with new things to work on. It can seem like layers and layers. Jacob suggests this is another concept and he’s right. The key is – does the concept lead us to something deeper or does it lead to another way to hold. The concept itself is not the issue but it is important to see it is a concept.
Another concept I use is ‘ego shrapnel’. Left over ideas or habits of mind that continue. We can think of them as like nodes. Or like facets of a structure of belief. Or layers of an onion. And so forth. The point is, it’s not about the concept, its about what it leads us to. More grip? Or more freedom…
on December 14th, 2008 at 10:37 pm
Takuin – yes, finding that driver is the key. Sometimes, there may seem to be layers or ancillary trash. But at some point we get to the nub. And once it’s seen, it passes. We may feel some relief. It can even kind of “pop”, like a bubble.
That’s kind of literal. When we hold a concept, it creates a bubble of awareness. A continual flowing of intention. A separation of subject and object. When we let it go, that bubble pops. Unheld, a bit of illusion vanishes.
on December 15th, 2008 at 1:35 am
Great Post!
on December 15th, 2008 at 6:14 am
Wow – great responses to my comment guys! Thank you!
Tom – yes I see what you mean about the process being something more spontaneous for you – that makes more sense to me. As Takuin addressed, I think the danger can be that we go looking for all these “layers” to break down, and then new layers arise, and there is no end to it.
Takuin – I really appreciate your clarity on these topics. You cut right to the heart of the issue. Thanks again.
Davidya – I see what you mean – does the concept enslave you or set you free? It depends on how you relate to the concept. It reminds me of something Adyashanti said (I think he was actually quoting Ramana Maharshi) about using a thorn to remove a thorn, concept to remove a concept.
on December 15th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
Great post, Tom!
I also have used the “give a hoot” test, but also keeping in mind that becoming aloof and removed from life is a mistake. The trick is detachment and yet still being a part of and interacting…as Jesus said – in the world, but not of it.
Namaste,
~ Eric
on December 15th, 2008 at 7:14 pm
Hi Eric
Yes, there’s a kind of transition in there where we can seem to stop caring, then the higher heart values kick in. Sometimes, there’s a lag in there, especially if enough heart work has not happened. A sense of aloofness. For others, the heart kicks a little early while there is still some attachment, then even compassion can be a barrier. Its that whole process of doing the clearing and finding the balance. And being patient with ourselves and allowing it to be what it is.
on December 16th, 2008 at 4:31 am
I found myself smiling throughout this post because I often think I’m over something – whether it’d be a person, an event that upset or challenged me, etc.
I tell myself that I am healed of the situation, having let it go completely only to find that when the issue rises to the surface again in some way, form or shape I find my emotions hitting me in the stomach again (stomach is the one region of my body where I “feel” things). That’s when I realize I’m not over it.
Let’s use an example from my own life. A friend and I grew apart due to my new eating lifestyle (too radical for this friend of mine) and we never hang out anymore. I thought I was over that because we talked about it and said we will always love one another, etc. But every time I see this person, my stomach jumps to my throat. It means becuase I still give a hoot, I’m not “over it.” Hahaha.
on December 16th, 2008 at 11:36 am
@Eric Yes, give a hoot doesn’t come from the ego. It is really synonymous with peace, contentment, joy and desirelessness. Just being at rest on something. A stillness around it.
@Takuin You know, I do agree with your perspective, and yet I know from my experience that there are times when I simply am called to see through what “appears” to be a layered mess. I don’t know how else to describe it. Davidya called it ego shrapnel. Personally, I often think of it as “shit” that just seems to arise over and over. Until it doesn’t. To be honest, I don’t really think it is layers, but that is how it appears. To me, it seems more like a record that is skipping. And sometimes the turntable needs to be bumped a bit. But who is doing the bumping? Always the more relevant question.
@Stephen Ah, yes!! If you are still invested, it is still conditioning your responses. It is still influencing how you see life and the world. Get hootless!
on December 17th, 2008 at 9:02 am
Possibility #1
There are no layers. It just an ego’s way of trying to figure things out.
Possibility #2
Maybe we are like the SETI program. SETI is gathering more data than its main computer can “crunch”. So millions of personal computers all over the earth have been volunteered to be tied into the main computer to help it “crunch” the data. The main computer determines how big an “info packet” to send to each personal computer and sends it out. The personal computer gets instructions along with the info packet to crunch the data and send it back.
We get thoughts from where we don’t know and we either “feel” and release the thoughts or don’t crunch them and receive the thoughts/emotions again until they are processed.
Possibility #3
A snowman noticed another snowman in the next yard and started a conversation. The conversation got around to wonders of the universe and finally one snowman said, “I don’t know exactly how you perceive things here but everything smells like carrots to me.”
I like possibility #3. It is understandable but makes no sense to the ego.
on December 17th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Harold – how about all of the above? (laughs)
Or none of the above. In a curious way, its your choice. The apparent process remains the same but how we relate to it depends largely on what we bring to the table.
on December 19th, 2008 at 1:44 am
yep, not caring is the summum bonum of spiritual achievement … and the really bright ones begin from there, they don’t give a damn about spirituality … there is a good reason that the old cultures where these concepts come from have almost totally dropped them … they produce nothing that can add anything to the world … in fact, the not caring meme is just lethargy in a new suit … ady-whomever may be giving nice comfort to marin housewives, but beyond that is adding nothing to the world … aiming to feel good is such a waste of life …
how much better we would all be if we just completely drop the spiritual, and just look around, and live .. what a joke
on December 19th, 2008 at 6:54 am
@Harold Interestingly, I don’t really believe there are layers. However, that doesn’t matter. Belief has nothing to do with it. Layers is just a convenient way of expressing that something repeats in my consciousness from time to time and each time I address it. I call it layers, and it seems like layers, but in truth I have no idea if there are layers.
on December 19th, 2008 at 7:02 am
@Gregory If I had to guess, I would say that the “not caring” you speak of is very different from what I’m talking about. There is the position assumed by the spiritual seeker of not caring, of indifference, of aloofness. Then there is the “not caring” that is neither lethargic, dissociated or in anyway removed from experience. It is a lack of concern for SELF because one has seen through the illusion of self. Or rather, absorbed the illusion into the totality of One. From here, there is no waste of life. It adds tremendously to the world. It is human beings acting in the world in ways that are often unseen but never not felt by the world.
Feel free to drop the spiritual. If that is your path to awakening, fantastic. But for many others, their path begins by looking like what we call spirituality. In the end, it will be dropped, too. But in the world of form, anything can be used for our awakening. Even what you feel is a joke. Namaste.
on December 19th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
I’d agree with you Tom. As the attachments and grip of the world fall away, there can be a period of “dry” not caring, even a sense of meaninglessness. But as this completes, it is more a not getting caught up in the drama of it, waking from the dream. “not caring” about the dream as there is a much richer version of reality.
With the grip of the mind softened, then the grip on the heart can be relaxed. That is the dawning of true compassion, deep empathetic connection. That is about as far from “not caring” as you can be.
on December 22nd, 2008 at 2:41 am
An excerpt from my forthcoming book, Enlightenment on Demand, that might prove helpful to some:
Don’t trade this moment for ANYTHING!
by Michael Jeffreys
Enlightenment happens by itself when you refuse to trade the current moment for anything. Anything that takes you out of this moment, meaning any thought about any subject your mind can possibly come up with, is poison and not even close to worth it.
This moment is powerful and where the juice is because it’s where life is! Don’t trade this moment for anything. If you do, you will only be going back to the “thought party” in your head. You will pretend to exist in made up goofy thoughts that only mean anything in your head anyway. Think about this: you can either choose to live in “pretendsville” (the imaginary world inside your head) or in something real, powerful and tangible: this moment. What is your choice going to be? Seriously.
You see, this moment and your life are literally the same, since your life can only happen in the currently arising moment. A huge “added benefit” is that thinking goes quiet all by itself, because what is the point of thinking as it would only take you out of the now, which is the only thing that’s real. The mistake that I used to make and that many still do is trying to make my mind be quiet. Ha! Good luck with that.
However, by simply making this moment as the ONLY thing that matters, miraculously the mind quiets down all by itself so as not to miss anything that happens. It’s sort of like watching a car accident about to take place. You suddenly become very still and quiet so you are able to take in everything that’s about to take place. Quiet, still, silent, alive awareness. Needing nor wanting anything since everything is already right here and now. (To be continued…)
http://www.mjeffreys.com
on December 22nd, 2008 at 6:07 pm
Hi Michael
Interesting. Certainly ties in with the title. But I would not say ‘refuse’ has anything to do with waking. If thoughts take one out of the moment, it is a natural movement. We only stay in the moment when we are the moment. Then any thoughts that arise do not disturb it.
If we are not that, making the moment matter means holding something that cannot be held. This is worse than trying to make the mind quiet.
Just as we should not try to force thoughts out, so should we not try to force the moment. Favoring it with attention, yes. But the process is more about allowing what is than making anything matter.
But I can only speak to what I’ve seen work.
on December 22nd, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Hi Davidya,
Thanks for your response!
You wrote:
“If thoughts take one out of the moment, it is a natural movement.”
For me, I have found the mind’s pull to be “unnatural.” In other words, I believe our natural state is presence, so anything that takes us out of it is “unnatural.” It may be what is, but I think this is simply occurring out of habit.
Once we are aware (become conscious) of the little game our mind likes to play to pull us out of the present moment (so as to stay in control), we are then able to break the pattern. I.e., instead of blindly getting sucked back into thinking (and then thinking about thinking!), we can just smile and gently return our attention back to the present moment.
And to be fully present, the mind must be still, because the moment you engage a thought, you are no longer present.
-Michael
on December 23rd, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Hi Michael
It is curious, but I find the idea that the “mind’s pull” is unnatural arises in the mind itself. It is part of the maze of the mind.
The presence is natural yes, and mind arises naturally within that. When you feel newly associated with presence, mind can feel like a pull away from what is, unnatural. But the solution is not in pushing mind away or seeing it as other or wrong. The solution is allowing it to be what it is and favoring the presence. Then presence deepens and mind quiets and the grip falls away.
The goal should not be to step out of mind but rather to go deeper into oneness. Oneness is all inclusive. That means even mind. Mind is found to be not more than presence, moving within itself. How is that unnatural?
The mind does not have to be still to be present. We are never not present. Presence becomes clearer at first when the mind is quieter due to the habit of being in the head. But as we step more deeply into presence, as presence moves more into our lives, then the noise or quiet if mind has no bearing on presence. It simply is, always.
That is real Enlightenment, if one can even say such a thing.
on December 24th, 2008 at 5:06 am
Great feedback Davidya.
I particularly like these two pointers:
“I find the idea that the “mind’s pull” is unnatural arises in the mind itself. It is part of the maze of the mind.”
“The goal should not be to step out of mind but rather to go deeper into oneness. Oneness is all inclusive. That means even mind. Mind is found to be not more than presence, moving within itself. How is that unnatural?”
on December 26th, 2008 at 4:51 am
Perhaps we could refer to the natural state and the normal state.
Normally people get “sucked in” to the mind’s antics. When this happens, there is less awareness of the present. It takes a lot of energy to get caught up in the mind however, and it isn’t the most natural state.
Naturally, one rests in a state of pure beingness, where anything may arise within awareness, yet nothing disturbs awareness.
Oh, speaking of “states,” Lester Levinson likes to refer to the feeling of total release as the hootless state. It’s not apathy, but total acceptance. Rather than a disconnection from the world, it’s the freedom to truly dive in and be or do anything in the world.
on December 26th, 2008 at 5:07 am
Beautifully put Ariel:
“Naturally, one rests in a state of pure beingness, where anything may arise within awareness, yet nothing disturbs awareness.”
on December 26th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
The Hootless state? Very funny. Thanks Ariel.
And Michael’s quote – that says it all about everything. Rewording to emphasize the point:
‘All rests in pure beingness where anything may arise, yet nothing disturbs.’
It’s already hootless, we just have to find a way to stop taking it personally. (laughs)
on December 29th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
@Michael, Davidya and Ariel Lester Levenson coined the term “hootless” as in “when you let go, you don’t give a hoot” anymore. You get hootless about your stuff. Well, his protege, Hale Dwoskin, has gone a step further: hootlessness is what you are. LOL
on February 8th, 2009 at 9:59 am
This post presumes that there is something wrong with one’s thoughts continuing to drift back to the woman. But that’s just another concept. I would ask — is it possible to be present and love even that craving? Your post posits a better future — except this time, the object of desire isn’t a woman, it’s desirelessness. You suggest that we accept what arises, but I sense you’re suggesting that we do so as a practice that will bring us toward a better future state. Is it possible that craving is just as good — really, truly, just as good, and I do mean RIGHT NOW — as “being done?” Love to all if I’ve misunderstood the post and if I haven’t.
on February 9th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
@Wordyone On the whole I would agree with you. What you say is just right. However, I didn’t mean to imply from the post that there was a state in the future that is better. What I was attempting to do was just reflect the frequent experience I have, and others have, is that there seems to be this repetition, this layering effect.
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