Adyashanti Retreat Report
Written on February 29, 2008 by Tom Stine
I attended a 5 day retreat with Adyashanti back in December, 2007, and I prepared the following report immediately afterwards. Reports like these about spiritual teachers and retreats are few and far between on the web, but since I find them to be quite helpful to me personally, I thought I would share my experience with a wider audience.
Purpose of the Retreat
The purpose of the retreat was to deepen one’s experience of Truth, to experience a true opening or moment of pure awareness, and to possibly experience a true awakening. Adyashanti is a big proponent of “awakening in this lifetime, if not now.”
Adyashanti
I’ve been quite excited about Adya and his teachings since last April. He has had a huge impact upon me. After this retreat, I can say that beyond question I have found someone that I would call my teacher if I actually wanted a spiritual teacher. He is completely my cup of tea. He is a regular guy, very down to earth, somewhat flippant, a bit radical, honest, incredibly personable. He speaks my language. He talks like a middle class guy who grew up in the 70’s and 80’s (he is 45). In fact, he is a middle class guy! His spiritual beginnings were in Zen, so there is a bit of a Zen flair to him: funky Buddhist shirts, stubble haircut, sits cross-legged in bare feet. But he speaks normally, more like he’s jawing with a couple of buddies on a Saturday afternoon, although he does quote a lot of Zen masters.
Is Adyashanti “the real deal”?
For my money, yes, he is. There is nothing I can tell that is fake or phony about him. He feels very, very clean to me. Even cleaner than Hale Dwoskin (Sedona Method, for those not familiar) and Eckhart Tolle, both of whom are very genuine and real. I got the same message from others at the retreat (of course, we were all fairly biased). Nothing sticky about him that I can tell. I had come out to see him 3 weeks prior, and after arriving in California, the weekend intensive I was attending was cancelled (he was ill). That forced me to do a lot of letting go around my expectations of seeing him, etc., which was very good. So when the retreat started, I felt very open and available to whatever happened. Very few expectations.
We had an orientation the first night by the retreat leader, a few minutes of silent sitting, then Adya walked into the room. When he entered and started walking to the front, I felt like someone had turned on a 10,000 watt light bulb inside my head. I felt a tremendous surge of energy, of awareness, of LIGHT. It was incredible. I was buzzing for a few hours after that…. no, really a few days. The guy is transmitting some serious spiritual mojo. Something shifted in me for certain. I could really sense his presence the whole time. My personal intuition is that awake and enlightened are words that could be attached to him. Tricky words to use, yes, but I think he would deserve them.
Silence
This was a silent retreat. From the opening of meditation on Sunday to 11:00 am on Friday, no one spoke except to dialogue with Adya. We ate in silence, we experienced sharing a room in silence. Contrary to what most of my friends had predicted, I had a very easy time with it. I had to break silence a few times because of issues that arose, but I never just blew it. It was always a conscious choice at unavoidable times. Truly, keeping silence was amazing. I loved it. The opportunity to hear the chatter in my head, to get familiar with it, to experience it, and to see how thoroughly it wasn’t me, was perfect, an excellent practice in and of itself. Another benefit of silence was it eliminated any concerns of socializing. I would enter the dining hall, take the next available seat at the 10 person tables, and begin the dining process. I didn’t care who I sat by, who was at my table, anything. No pressures. Fantastic. Silence was a blessing, something to be cherished. It was a vital part of the experience.
People
I loved the people at the retreat. I got to speak with my roommate for a few hours before the retreat began. There were odd and funny parallels between us. I spoke with people on the shuttle to and from the airport, and at lunch on the last day. Great people. When they dialogued with Adya, they were so genuine and real. Very much like a Sedona Method retreat, and yet different. What a gift to be with 350 people who all are seeking to awaken. Yes, 350 people. We filled a very large hall for satsangs and meditation. I recognized at least 5 people from Sedona Method retreats, which was good.
Schedule
Meditate for 40 minutes at 7:30 a.m., breakfast, satsang with Adya from 10 a.m.-12 p.m., lunch, 3 meditations of 40 minutes each with 30 minute breaks in the afternoon, rest period, dinner, satsang with Adya from 7-8:45 p.m., final meditation, lights out at 10:00 p.m. We had 5 meditations for a total of over 3 hours of sitting each day. My spirit was willing, but the flesh was weak. I often bagged 2 of the afternoon meditations because my back was killing me sitting in the meditation hall (yes, we even had chairs to sit on). I would go sit in one of the many funky old buildings, in a comfy chair, and meditate, or watch the trees sway in the wind, or take a walk. Those times were amazing, lots of great moments sitting in silence watching the processes of my mind.
How I spent my days
I got up, meditated, ate, walked, sat, lied down in the late afternoon, listened to Adya, slept at night. We did nothing else. No computer, no phone, no conversation. Just hours and hours of meditating and contemplating and sitting. The primary meditation instruction was to be still, to allow everything to simply be: every thought, feeling, experience, perception, everything. Just be. My mind would chatter like a squirrel at times. But I would sit. Rarely did I get bored.
Location
photo credit: juicylucymamma
Asilomar, a wonderful retreat and conference center near Monterey, California, with frontage on the ocean. Beautiful grounds, walkways among the sand dunes, wonderful old buildings to sit in and watch a fire in the many fireplaces. Huge dining hall, excellent, basic food (meat and veggie options), I really enjoyed the dining. We couldn’t talk, so we basically just sat and ate what we were fed. It was nice. I had a plate of food, I ate it, sat and drank tea, and allowed it to be enough. I never was hungry. I probably lost a few pounds of fat. I felt great.
My experience
Incredible. My understanding of my spirituality got deeper. I had some amazing experiences like the light on the first night. A few times I felt myself go to the very edge of my mind, really sitting and staring at the nothingness, feeling around the edges of my experience. Adya triggered some great insights into myself, understandings about what I’m about. I can’t wait to go back.
The $64,000 question: did Tom awaken?
In the conventional sense of the word, no, I didn’t. There was no bang!, you are now awake experience. While I have had experiences in the past that were more of a bang nature, the impact of this retreat has been much more lasting. One thing that Adya discusses a lot is that he has met far more people that slowly get their awakening than people who go bang!. He describes it as they get to a place where they just go, “well I’ll be damned!” From this retreat, I can say I’m at “well I’ll be d….” I’m on the edges of it. I can just feel it. Sense it. It is there, right there.
And here is the kicker: there is nothing I can really do to get “there”. Because the question isn’t really “did you awaken?”, the question is really “did that in you which is awake realize itself?” Who awakens, you see, is the most important question. Tom doesn’t. What Tom truly is does. But then again, it doesn’t either. It is already awake. I know, it is a seemingly big paradox. What we are, consciousness, awareness, presence, is already there. It is constantly moving toward a fuller understanding of itself, and that is what awakening really is: a fuller realization of itself through you and me. The little self, the ego, the mind, whatever you want to call it, isn’t real in the first place, so how can it wake up? And that only leaves the absolute reality, consciousness, but it is already awake. Paradox!! So, what I am is already awake. So is what you are. And awakening is just recognizing that it is so. Nisagardatta Maharaj said that his guru told him that he was the Supreme Reality, and he then just sat with that until he realized it completely to be True. That’s it.
Okay, so in a conventional sense, Tom didn’t awaken, but he is waking up. But so are you. We go together, you and I.
